seperation

[threeamigos]

Hi there my ds is 3 and my dd is 2 and 1 due in two weeks, I have just separated from there dad three days ago due to partner having a illegal smoking habit and cannot give up has tried himself and with counsellors but dropped out.
our home was up north and ive come to my parents house in London as I had no where else to go.
My ds of three sometimes shows signs that he feels unstable by the situation because when I get emotional about it his behaviour reflects my vibes, most of the time I feel positive about how im handling the situation and told him that we are hear because my mum and dad are helping with the baby im such a crap liar because of parental emotions that you don't want your children going through.
any tips on how to deal with making sure this process goes smoothly or shall I for the kids go back still on my own and keep them up in there familiar surroundings school etc and get myself my own place, there dad has said that he will beat the drug habit for the kids sake, is it right being close to him while he is doing this he never does it around the children, arghhh im in such a dilemma as its the lifestyle too will I be a neglectful mum being so anti drugs and for the sake of the kids being a little more stable then down here.
Please please please some advice if any one has gone through similar, emotionally on my own im more comfortable up north but then while im there I have the battle with the drug choice and if im being neglectful to the kids by taking them back.

So sorry your in this situation OP

you need to do what feels right to you, If your happier up north then go back just make sure you have a good support network for emotional as well as practical help

My XP also had a illegal smoking habit and unfortunately still does :( He couldnt give it up for me and DC on the 1 occasion he did it was wonderful, 2 months of bliss but then he went back to it and now were not together any more and he doesnt see the DC :( am hoping that will change but he tends to put himself before all others

Your DS's mood will even out soon it's just such big changes for him and they do pick up on how were feeling

Maybe stay where you are till you've had the baby then see where you want to go from there when your feeling emotionally stronger

Am not sure if i'm any help but didnt want you to go unanswered

Thank you soverign21
I have decided to stay here my family are bringing much more stability and the children are really benefiting from this.
The smoking makes them very emotionally selfish, I have defiantly come to realise this.
Im sorry that your dc does not see his dad. Being on the drug I feel does not make them the best role model for your child any way, you have been a great help and I hope you get some results in ur family unit.