Sorry this is a bit rambly , but it's been a brooding for ages and I would like some ideas from you wise women on how to handle this.
I love my Mum to bits. We have always had a great relationship. She has been incredibly helpful with childcare over the past 7 years, but increasingly, she is totally doing my head in and I feel our relationship is suffering because she undermines me at every step with my children.
She lives alone not far from us but I am finding that I am trying to avoid meeting up with her with my 7 and 5 year old sons as it turns into a disaster every time.
Typical example - and there are millions of them. I have asked her not to give my sons sweets. Not because I never let them have sweets, but because she has no idea that a full haribo party bumper pack is too much for a couple of small kids in one sitting. I have asked her numerous times - yet she still does it.
We went round for a visit to have supper tonight. I asked the boys to eat up - she said 'Aw - I think they've had enough' I say well they would eat it at home - she says "well it'sa bit dry - I just think it's hard to eat".
I tell kids if they don't eat up there's nothing else to eat.
on leaving DS2 is trying to rummage in her biscuit drawer, I say ' Hey I said nothing else' he starts to cry - Granny says ' Aw can't he have a strawberry'. I clench my fists and grit my teeth - he gets a strawberry. So many occasions like this - the kids no longer pay any attention to me when she is around as they think she's in charge. I end up snapping at the kids and sulking with her and we both end up feeling rubbish.
Now I know it's down to me to put my foot down, but it's REALLY hard to find the words to tell her she is undermining me and to please stop. I feel like a horrid snappy 14 year old and I am worried that she will be dreadfully upset.
How can I tell her she drives me mad she is NOT their Mum - I AM!.