Long story. My DH left his job as MD in a design company as he wanted to be his own boss. Things didn't turn out too well, mostly because he isn't very good at finding new clients. He then decided he was going to invent a new exercise device which he would build at home and then market via advertising.
To do this he needed capital and so offered our house as security to the bank.
I was not happy about this as I was very doubtful that he would he able to make a go of this new idea. I felt pressured into agreeing to sign the bank papers as I was trying to be supportive and thought he deserved a chance.
Within a few months he had failed to sell any of his products and the bank wanted their money back (£60K). I then found out he had lots of bills from suppliers, another £30K. We had bailiffs at the door and he had court judgements against him so we can't get another mortgage.
We managed to sell the house before the bank foreclosed on us but we were left with hardly any capital. We moved into a rented house and he claimed benefits for us and DS, aged 4.
That was three years ago. I was so desperate I took a part time job and have been worried sick about the benefits agency finding out. My DH is currently sitting upstairs in his study trying to write a novel as a way out of our situation.
He can't find another management job and refuses to try anything 'demeaning' despite having lots of DIY skills he could try to use to earn some money.
On top of all this he is picking on my son who seems to have become a scapegoat for DH's frustrations. I know he is depressed and worried but it isn't my son's fault.
I am on anti depressants and very stressed, seeing a psychiatric nurse.
I am desperate to know what to do. I still love my DH but feel I can't cope with all the worry and tension for much longer.