snip after one child?

[chilipepper27]

we have one ds who we both love more than anything in the world and we are more than happy to leave it at one dc, i had a awful pregnancy and couldnt bear to go through it again and i know i do not want any more dc
my dh said he would be happy to get the snip
which i am happy about but so many people have said ahhh you will change your mind the whole thing has left me confused i think what im trying to say is i do want him to have it im afraid we might regret it in the future , ps i react really badly to the pill so anything like that is off the cards

well, you might regret it in the future. None of us know what the future holds for us or how we might feel in 5, 10, 15 or however many years. That's true.

But you can't go through life trying to make or avoid making choices because you are unsure how you might possibly feel at some point in the future perhaps...

I would suggest talking to gp. They will be very reluctant and will probably say things like you've only had one, or what if you get divorced and other equally lovely things.

But they might offer counselling.

Ending your fertility is not a decision to be taken lightly so perhaps talking it over with someone who would put different scenarios to you for you to think about might be a good idea?

The NHS won't do it anyway atm as you only have 1, presumably youngish child(we have a 3yr old and we asked- answer no way)?

There are other forms of contraception. Diaphragm, copper coil, condoms, natural family planning etc.

Why not talk to somebody about it? Is it that you don't want more children or you don't want more pregnancies? If you're sure in your mind then you can go private or you can leave it a few years and practise safe sex and then approach the NHS when you can demonstrate that you know your own mind.

i see what you mean, i think im reluctant on behalf of my husband i know i dont want any more, ds was a surprise and a one that took a lot of getting used too as i never really wanted dc , although i wouldnt change things for the world. i think i feel guilty at the thought of dh ending his fertility .
we have talked about me doing it instead but we have heard the snip is reversible so it seems the better option

How old is your ds? How about using a coil for a few years while you both think more about it. I don't think permanent sterilisation is something to be rushed into - not saying you'll want more children, just that once done, it's hard to undo

You def can't rely on reversing a vasectomy - it doesn't work in the majority of cases.

But the NHS will do one for someone with one child - friend of ours was done when his dd was 2

I was sterilised at 30 after one child.
I have no regrets.

well, it is reversable, but that's got a high failure rate (reversing it) that gets higher the longer you leave it between snip and reversal so don't do it telling yourselves that he can get it undone because it quite possibly wouldn't work.

really, talk to your gp about long term contraceptive methods.

Friend of ours had it done at 30 with no dc, back in the '80s. He had it done because they didn't want any children and the fpc refused to keep on prescribing the pill for his dw without doing a smear test and she refused to have one. Remember he was up in arms about it.

Can't remember whether he paid, or not.

I second the coil. We have 3 DDs, no intention of having any more. I have a Mirena coil which is brilliant. Quite frankly if my DH said he was going for a snip, I would answer - do what you want but don't expect me to take out the coil!"

Haven't had a period in 3 years - nuf said!