is there a way back

[scaredoffuture]

I have left my first and only partner yesterday after 16 years, from the age of 15. We are married and have the most beautiful DD aged 2.5 that I love more than life itself.
I stupidly had an affair with a work colleague about 5 moths ago and this grew into falling for each other, or so I thought until today When I cant stop crying for what I have given up at home.
I love my child so much that it made me question my love for my partner somehow? I seemed to be tunnel visioned into wanting out of the relationship, both by my lack of sexual feeling for my partner and obviously the feeling for the other half of the affair

I know feel only 20 hrs later, that I have ruined my life and chance of real family happiness

Is there any way back after hurting my partner SO much?

more details just ask.

I am a terrified first poster

what's happened though? why did you leave? did he find out? or did you think you were going to run off with the OM?

Have you tried pleading with your DH to try again?

I blurted out that I was in love with someone else, it had been eating me for weeks/months
I left because The thought of a new chapter with someone I really fancied excited me.(I felt I was losing those feelings at home) now deep down I think I could live without sex ever again just to laugh and mean it as a family, without this affair destroying everything
No I havent contacted parter today because of the way the split went last night, it was heartbreaking to see and its all my fault!

I still have the option of the new life but only seeing my daughter some days will haunt me forever and will probably make me resent this other person.
It feels as if I would be trying to stay for my daughter and that cant build trust for my partner ever again?

Let me guess. You're a man and you only started lacking feelings for your partner once the affair partner loomed into view, either pre-affair or once it started? You've confused fantasy and lust for love and now that reality is dawning and you've seen the hurt, you're questioning whether you really do love this OW and are confused whether your sexual feelings will return for your partner?

Keep posting, if this script resonates at all with you. And tell us whether you think your exDP could ever forgive you.

"I know feel only 20 hrs later, that I have ruined my life and chance of real family happiness"

Your life, your family happiness? What about the innocents in all this? Your partner, your child?

Ditch the self pity and grasp some perspective, quickly.

Yes Bast are you following Pfft's thread, where I suggested she looked out for that sort of language?

WWIFN, yes, when I can. Fantastic advice from you there, as usual ( we've 'met' before)...and unfortunately I once got to hear similar wretched wailing first hand.

Needless to say, OP, he's an X now.