I wonder if your anger is actually a build up, you have stated that you have had other bad things happen in the past, do you think this bad thing's anger is like the final straw and you are finally letting it all out!
Have you felt connned by other close or loved one's in the past? as you expect to find another ego driven, control freak who is emotionally stunted!
I wonder if his sister was taught that her brother had entitlements in childhood!?
You are fantasing about battering your daughter and you describe her words as mouthy toung, has anyone done that to you?
You say you want to be suffocated, has that been done to you?
I have not had the menopause myself, I get the feeling that the symptoms you describe as being normal, have you spoken to your gp about just how your mood is swinging?
I know for me when I got pmt (until I accdepted the childhood and adult abuse I had) it would all come out then, the tears, the anger, the depression etc, until the hormones calmed down again! It can be very scary to feel so out of control.
I would go and book some counselling, the anger had to come out eventually, you have held it in a lifetime if i am correct, let it out! One good way I noticed for my kids recently (wishI had worked this out when i was out of control angry) was to do the boxing thing on the wii! great release! Also to recognise that in some families you are not allowed to feel sad and anger is the feeling that is ok, and sometimes it is not ok for some people to express anger and they have to repress it!