So hot for DH

[Champersonice]

I have been on here before as am not living with DH and was tempted to start affair. I say tempted cos I knew at time I shouldn't and wouldn't - I didn't!!

Me and DH are trying to sort things out but have put the brakes on our sexlife for the moment.

It hasn't been easy trying to get back on track but I still cannot help but get so damn hot for him! I don't want to ruin things by jumping in the sack but he is due over tonight for a visit and my body is yearning like yer wouldn't believe.

Yes, I KNOW he is my DH, so in essence why not? BUT I don't want it to cloud our judgement and I think by waiting, if we can really get our heads sorted, then when it comes to getting physical again, it will be explosive.

What to do??

I don't understand your post at all - if you and DH want to get it on, just do it! Why would it cloud your judgement? Why do you need to 'save it up' to make it 'explosive'? If you really fancy each other it should be good without having to starve yourself of it first!

TBH your post sounds a bit strange and dare I say immature? A relationship is about a lot more than sex; the sex bit is the cherry on the top, but you need to have a 'whole' relationship based on love, trust, understanding and consideration, to make a long term relationship work.

Perhaps if I'd read your previous posts I would understand it all a bit more.

Not read your other threads so not sure of the background here. I guess you're separated but trying to work things through.

I think if that spark is there then it's a really positive sign for the two of you and just go for it.

Otherwise you're in danger of over-thinking things, and run the risk of being disappointed if you build it up to being such a big deal. THat's what I would do anyway!!

We need some backstory really, but if you fancy him why not? Are you using sex as a weapon? In which case he may well decide that if you don't show that you fancy him, someone else might.

Strange and immature? Funny that is not how it is at all and as for using sex as a weapon, no way. Me and my DH are both in agreeance to hanging on till we get back on track. It is not me or him using sex as a threat. Sometimes sex can get in the way of other things and once the lust has gone, what else is there? You see, me and my DH have a very unconventional background. We met in a different continent, I got pregnant, returned to the UK, got DH over after a very long time (as he is not British or an EU resident). So we didn't do the traditional dating, marrying, deciding to have kids and I suppose we didn't really know each other deep down. When he got here it was all a bit full on and we all had to adapt, not to mention the big cultural challenges that faced my DH. I decided I couldn't carry on as things were (too long to go into now and not really important to this thread) so I asked him to leave and stay with his family. We then said we would start from the beginning and 'date' etc. We seem to be taking 2 steps forward, 10 backwards at times but we are slowly getting somewhere. We both decided that we should wait till we felt more 'together' to get back into sex (as sex had always been so fantastic, we didn't want that to make us feel falsely connected). Perhaps it doesn't make sense to some of you MNs reading this.

I posted this for some advice btw, not for snidey accusations.

Reading your post I get the impression there is a lot more gonig on. how about you get back into a sexual relationship and maybe just maybe the rest will fall into place?

I understand that you don't want sexual feelings to overtake your state of mind but this might be what you both need.

Good luck.

it does sound like you are over thinking it a bit though. i know this will sound a bit dramatic but imagine for a second if you had 24 hrs left on earth, would you be putting off doing what you obviously want to be doing or wouuld you just think 'to heck with it, life's to short!'.

none of us know what lies around the corner. If you love someone, and you fancy him, and you're married to him, why waste any more time worrying about what sex may or may not lead to? If problems are going to come up in the future, they will do regardless of whether you're sleeping together.

Thanks for replies...I think I should speak to my DH tonight about it. He might say no after all this anyway!

But at the moment, the lust and the holding on may cloud your judgement more than the actual sex?

I didn't look at it from that perspective - thanks QuintessentialShadows - something to think about or perhaps I am thinking too much!