Anyone else totally incompatible when it comes to parenting?

[sausagedog]

Dh has come in from work/football/pub & started off on one again. Doesnt like Ds1 playing on his xbox before school. Wants him to do some schoolwork when he gets up. Will set him work himself. Anyone else think this is unreasonable? Is he a victorian dad - or am I a soft touch?

before school?

no i think no x box or homework before school i think a nice relaxing start to the morning making sure everyone has everything and everyone gets breakfast.

if you meant after school. i think that there should be a regular time to do homework stuff even if homework isnt set.................how absolutley lovley that your dh should offer to do this with your child - dont let him bark orders at you - its his idea let him do it. never the less its a good idea.

then he can play x box later - after his chores becuase he should have chores

how old is ds? im not a fan of homework myself because it makes me battle with my dd (just turned 6)but i know she needs to do it so i have to persevere, i agree doing homework in the morning is a silly idea, it should be done when they get home from school, mornings are stressful enough as it is, my dd takes about an hour to do her homework i cant see us ever finding that ammount of time first thing in the morning..........

I think I'd take the approach that if he wants to set him homework then fine but it shouldn't be 'homework' maybe a nice hobby that they can both do together and enjoy which has educational value: art / science there's lots of stuff and he must sit with him when he does it

I would say if you meant before school then I think xbox is a really bad idea, as is homework

if you meant after school I think after a bit of chilling out school's homework should be done (ahh the joy of only having a 4 year old)

I thought schools had homework amounts all worked out for maximum affect now anyway so the setting his own sounds silly

Definitely no XBox or homework before school.
Why does your dh think ds needs more homework anyway?

hoemwork before school?? dear lord, I am glad I am not a child today...
setting him work himself sounds a bit like control freakery tbh. can't see any particular problem with the Xbox unless it's making him aggressive or late for school or something - is he just concerned about "wasting time"? like going to the pub or playing football for instance

I'm with custardo + robinia. Neither the one or the other before school. The time should be used to take plenty of time over a good breakfast. (sue he has breakfast already but a leisurely breakfast ritual iyswim).

In answer to the thread title, dh and I have already had it out over ds (16 weeks!) - he's pro routines and wouldn't mind mixed feeding, I'm pro letting baby find own routine and bf on demand. (and have had my way - and v successfully! - so far ). I think later on dh will be stricter than I will.

and your thoughts sausagedog?

before school? my ds is like me...he needs at least an hour to come round. breakfast, thats it.

How much time are we talking here?

I don't like the sound of xbox much, but I would have thought reading a book, drawing a picture, practising an instrument, or even helping to wash up after breakfast would all be more useful than yet more schoolwork.

We have loads of arguments about the children. We are still muddling along somehow and the children are now 18 and 13. Sometimes I think I would have found it easier to cope on my own - but I've never been brave enough to make the break.

Homework before school sounds a bit OTT to me. xbox?? - I guess I would let him play if there's time.

Thanks for your replies everyone - I can see the general consensus is neither before school.

I guess I just want to have as peaceful a morning as poss. I allow ds - who's 9 btw - to go on his xbox mainly because he's up first - around 6.30. As long as he's dressed, washed and breakfasted by 8.30 I let him do what he wants.

Hellsbells I feel exactly the same, house is much calmer when its just me & kids. I dont think we'll ever agree over the kids (or other things for that matter)Never thought we'd have such a different approach to parenting!

I do feel for you. Our eldest daughter is 10 and If she is up and ready I let her play her pc game till shcool. Its usually only 15 minutes but its a pretty educational game anyway

My twins are 6 and me and dh often clash on what we think is best for them and Katie is 2, this is where me and dh clash the worst. I think he's to hard on her and he thinks I'm too soft. Can't bloody win

Disagree with most here about xbox before school. Interetsed to know hat's really the problem with it? I feel it does more harm just before bed time when it hypes them up and stops them settling to sleep. We have a no xbox after supper rule but my 2 are allowed to play on it after breakfast if they are ready for school. Gives me a chance to flap around getting myself ready for work. Arguments about switching it off when it's time to go have been nipped in the bud by banning it if there is a single bit of fuss. Homework at breakfast time seems a bit harsh unless you have a child who's more alert and bright in the morning (like my ds1) than after school so it's just a better time to do it.

what's really the problem. Nothing to do with hats!

Your Dh can get up at 6.30 then. I bet the xbox is back within a week.