Sister Act - any advice?

[onionlove]

Hi everyone, does anyone have advice me for me?
My relationship with my sister has broken down over the last year or so and is beginning to look irretrievable. I'm not sure what to do.
I'll try to keep it short but basically we were like peas in a pod until I got pregnant with my first baby (I am 38, she is 43 and has 4 kids). The only thing I can think that upset her is the amount of time my Mum has spent with me since I had the baby, the only indication of that being the problem is a conversation I had with her where I offered to come and visit with Mum whilst she went to a concert (her husband was away) and she said that I couldn't cook for all of her children (I have done before!) and that Mum wasn't interested in them. I have never told Mum this.
She has visited me a couple of times but seems to do it because her kids want to visit and she can't get away quick enough and doesn't really talk to us or make eye contact. Funnily enough although she was talking to Mum she is now and everything is hunky dory. I got a cheery text from her about 6 weeks ago suggesting we do something together and I text her back saying I think we should 'clear the air' first. I don't want her to tell me what was bothering her if she doesn't want to but it would be nice if she at least acknowledged that she has treated me differently recently. She was supposed to come to the birth of DS but she didn't and she has ignored texts, phone calls and letters asking her what is wrong and telling her I am here if she needs support. We haven't been invited to any of her kids birthday parties this year although we always used to go and she sent my step son a present for easter but nothing for my son.
I don't feel I can let this go as I don't think its fair for her to blow hot and cold like that, even if she said, I've been having a funny time and don't want to talk about it that would be enough.
Am I being too stubborn? I just don't trust the relationship anymore I guess. This is making me very sad as we have been close up until now for all of our lives, I just don't understand....

No siblings so can't understand the pressure. Just bumping for you and hope somebody with experience comes along soon xxxx

Thanks x

Anyone help?

Is she jealous of you having the youngest GC?

My niece was 7 when I had my first & I could see how all the focus seemed to shift to my baby tbh.

Although my sister was abroad at the time, but she perhaps got at bit pissed off at all the talk about my baby.

Mind you, I´d had 7yrs of talk about her daughter!

But if that is the problem, then your sister should be addressing it with your Mum.

Your are not being stubborn.

I would leave her to stew with whatever bee in her bonnet.

You have tried as you say you have phoned, text and written to her all of which she has ignored. I realy don't think there is anything else you can do.

What I would say is be honest with other members of your family. Explain that you have tried to make contact with her by various means and all have been ignored by her.

not sure she should have to say anything tbh,
she offered to do something with you and you said we need to clear the air first, maybe that was her way of clearing the air and by being so upfront about it you have put her iyswim

Or your mum could be talking to her like you are the only mother in the world and your way is the best, and as diddl says you're feeling the brunt of it

I could be totally wrong because I only have a brother.

Yes, some people I think prefer to just carry on rather than "clear the air".

Sister & I have just had a bit of a "to do".

I´m trying to carry on, she is ignoring.

Am due to see her in couple of weeks-family holiday as she is abroad & I´m now not looking forward to it as I feel she is going to want to "have a talk".

It was my fault & I have apologised, so just want to leave it tbh.

To hell with her, she needs to grow up.

I suggest the next letter you send is less apologtic and more on the lines of your loss not mine.

The dss present thing is just spiteful, for that alone she would have got a verbal earful of abuse from me.