No title just GRRRRRRRR

[Hermione1]

Haven't been on mumsnet for a couple of months, partly to show dh that i didn't spend all my time on line.
Been married for 7 years now, (sorry it's a long one) and i long for a husband/daddy to be more like a husband/daddy iyswim. He works full-time but down graded his job so less money bearing in mind that he got us into deep debt and we are struggling every month, spends all his time either on computer which is upstaires and watching dvd's in bed, spends no time with us usually and I keep thinking should i accept this, it's been this way at least since kids have been born, then we'll have an argument and then it'll change for a short while and then before i konw it, it's back to our seperate lives but in the same house. I also feel insecure, worried he might go off with someone else. I just don't know what to do, Basically have more downs than ups. sorry rant over.

TELL HIM!

then, sell the computer and take the tv out of the bedroom

we are still paying for this computer. but thanks for advice,

you said that you haven't been on for a while, to show him that you don't spend all your time online.... well would he do a similar thing?

perhaps you could both promise to limit your usage of the pc (on or offline)

if you can't speak to him then write him a letter... or an e-mail... i did that with dp and things have started to change

I do tell him but just ends up the same, he is really stubborn. I sound like a qhiney old bag i konw. i just feel so frustrated.

i do know how you feel.
i wrote an e-mail to dp and basically said taht at that moment in time i just wanted to walk away and never come back.
i said that if things didn't change then i couldn't cope any more and i WOULD leave him.
i acknowledged my own short-comings, and said that i didn't want him to feel like i was nagging ALL the time... but that i did need him to take a part in both mine and ds;s life.... and that i didn't think i should have to ask him ALL THE TIME

he said he read it a few times before replying... and it rteally did surprise him, the intensity of my feelings. i had talked to him before, but never really told him quite how bad it had got.

Hello friend Nice to see you back on here, have you drugged him or something
You need to know what you want for yourself, do you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life like this?
If not, tell him, tell him hes got 6 months to improve or your leaving.
He needs to know your serious.

Update::

Finally had it out with him yesturday. I just thought i am not having this anymore and that i 've had enough of feeling like he's a lodger. He said if i was unhappy and wanted to go then i should. Burst out crying, said i didn't want to go but i couldn't stay when things are like they are. Too cut a long story short, he said he'd try and we'll take it from there, one day at a time. and if in 6 months it's still the same old c**p, then i think it will be timw to go, i can't live another 7 years like this. Thanks for all posts, and you cc.