Did i get used?

[HelenEmjay]

I made a really nice friend last november, we met as our little boys are in the same class at school and we seemed to really click! and my dp gets on with her dp, and we all went away for a few days together a couple of months ago and had a great time, but in the last 8-9 weeks she seems more distant from me, and as she used to ring most day for a chat and to tell me she was coming round, she no longer calls and if i dont call her i wont speak to her for a week or two, she has moved house alot over the last couple of years so has never settled long enough to make friends - until now, she moved into her current house in november and after spending some time around there recently i have noticed she has made friends with a few of her neighbours all in the last few weeks! i hate to sound selfish as i think its great she has setlled and has made friends, but surely you shouldnt just forget about your exisiting ones? i cant help but a bit used, she was here or calling all the time, as i presume she (like myself) gets fed up at home all the time and our 2 youngest can play together, but now she has made other friends im no longer needed it seems? im due to have my new baby by c-section on monday (12th) and i cant help but feel i will suddenly become very popular to her again when baby is here - god i hate to sound so cynical but i cant help it, its really making me feel down - i thought i had made a really good new friend

Friendships with parents and kids are tricky. There are so so so many reasons they can go wrong (inconvenience, different parenting approaches, schedule issues). It's not worth worrying about. Enjoy hanging out with other mums when it works, and don't take it personally when it doesn't, is my approach.

Thanks NQC! i never thought about it like that! i always used to make frinds quite easily when i was younger, but since having kids i dont make friends quite so easily - maybe thats why? but i dont work anymore and so i do find i get pretty fed-up and lonely sometimes, and it was nice having this friend just round the corner to chat to when we needed each other, but looking at it like you do, it makes more sense to look at these friendships differently, im usually a mobile hairdresser, so i plan to go back to that in a few months and i have all kinds of friends through that that i will enjoy catching up with so its ok i suppose......

It can be hard and frustrating - I had a very good friend for a couple of years who I've essentially stopped seeing, for no very good reason. But with your boy at school, presumably you meet other mums?

It is easier having friends who are very close by, physically - this friend has moved away?

if you are about to have a baby she may be hanging back a bit to give you some time and space to relax. i have a friend who always apologises as soon as i answer the phone cos she assumes she is interupting something