made out to be a bitch!!

[packup]

Why am I always the one to be left out in the cold?

Right here goes , fell out with MIL because I wouldn't let her treat her grandchildren badly, apparently that was wrong I should of kept-ed my mouth shut!! Outcome we no longer see grandma, which is her choice.

Secondly fell out with what I thought was a good friend when she started being funny with me because I made a new friend, she cause a whole lot of trouble for my daughter at school which was the final straw.

Thirdly my new friend who never really had a good word to say about this old friend or another group of mums at school now wants nothing to do with me after nearly 2 yrs of friendship, after listening to her for 9mths about her marriage problems when she told me weeks later she was pregnant I blurted out a baby would make everything better. I totally regretted saying it as soon as it left my mouth but it was to late.

Anyway after much apologising and messing around with feelings on her part friendship was over I was gutted!!! To make matters worse she turned my best friend against me too who no longer wants anything to do with me too.

Now both these ex- friends have teamed up with the first friend I fell out with, when we were friends they encouraged me to stay away from the first friend I fell out with never had a good word to say about her.

to top it all my oldest friends husband died in the summer hols I sent a card but she has still not spoken to me, but it hurts that another parent from school is told me they are all talking about the card I sent, it took alot for me to send it, after our friendship ended I was put on anti depressants it was along time coming but I finally hit rock bottom,I felt abandoned my these friends. Now I know I've been made to look the bitch, by the people I thought were my friends.

It kills me everyday to go and collect my daughter from school and their all standing there laughing and joking and ignore me, they even do it to my children.

How can I stop feeling like this, every time I hear them making arrangments for coffee meet ups my heart breaks.

You need different friends.....forget them.

You need to make new friends. I know this sounds obvious, but what I mean is, don't waste your time trying to get back in with that bunch of losers.

Can't you just start afresh and start chatting to some of the other mums?

I really think you'd you would be better off making new friends.

they dont sound very nice anyway, i mean in i was no longer talking to a friend of mine i would not "ignore" her children thats horrid.

not IN i meant IF i was no longer...

I would be tempted to move schools. Is that possible?

I had thought of that, but it would break my daughters heart to leave her friends. I am making new friends but I've learn't it takes time, I talk to the mums that stand on their own in the playground, I always thought the were the odd ones but now I realise it's the cliques.

I'm also making new friends by taking my 19mth old to differnt groups out side the village we live in.

I also know I need to forget them but it's so hard

Ah villages........ yes tricky. Dc's go to a village school, luckily the politics aren't too awful. It's taken me years to finally find people I really like. yes it does take a lot of time Good luck

Packup: You have done nothing wrong, To the contrary!

You have listened to someone who needed an ear, you have sent a card to condole a bereaved friend, and you have stood up for your DD.

All round that makes you a pretty special person. If these so called friends can't see that then screw them!

I bet they are just intimidated by you, knowing they don't measure up. Let them find their own low gutter level.

You are well shot of these women, you will get no-where in life with them by your side.

I have been utterly isolated, without a soul in the world to talk to for months and months on end, but I would still say that friends are quality over quantity.

I may know only a very small handful of women that I could call friends, but my god they are utterly awesome.

If the choice was your friends or nothing, I'd choose nothing every time, they sound horrendous.

Cream always rises to the top packup, and this is the time where you shrug them off and go find people to be friends that have left the playground and are fully paid up members of the adult human race.

I'd suggest finding a social hobby. This has 2 advantages.
1 hobbies can be quite time and energy consuming so if you also have kids +/- a job you have no time to worry about what folk are saying about you.

1. If a social hobby like sport based, interest base, political, friends of the earth, art class etc you meet new people who you may have more in common with than women who just happen to have kids the same age as your kids.

Most of my good friends are through my hobbies, none of them have kids the same age as my kids. Forget the school mums. There is life outside motherhood.

LittleMissHissyFit-Excellent post!
and 2rebecca as well.

Imho, at the end of the day, the only person you need to like you, is yourself.

Packup - I came on here wondering if some friends that I'm in the middle of a situation were posting on MN!!

I am in a difficult position myself at the moment - I repeated something someone said to me and it's caused a lot of trouble and some people just not speaking to me, even though I've written to all concerned and apologised profusely.

Having spent yesterday heartbroken, I've decided that today, I will give myself a break from this beating myself up, checking fb to see if they are replying to my apology, noting that they are talking to others but not me etc.

You sound like such a great mum. It is hard to make new friends. I find it difficult and now I'll have to start again. I'm trying to believe that everything happens for a reason.

And I hope you will. The practical stuff around social hobby is good. I'm doing zumba now and hope it will bring new friendships.

Keep going. Try not to focus on it too much. We can't stop other people commenting on our lives and decisions but we can decide whether it's going to affect us or not. Harder to do than write, I know, but I'm working on it.

Keep going Packup. Much un MN mushy stuff.