Ex-MIL.... should I confront it? WWYD?

[HappySlapper]

Have to vent - but also need some advice please!

Separated from exh about 6 months - he lived at his mums for a while, and has recently moved into a flat. He has ds overnight a couple of times a week.

The usual procedure, is that I drop off ds in the morning to either exh, or ex mil (depending on which shift he's on) and then pick up from either one after work.

I've been off work sick today and yesterday, and send dd to pick up ds from mil this afternoon - dd has told me that she asked where I was - dd told her I wasn't very well, whereupon she was allegedly quite off with dd and said something along the lines of 'well I'm not well either'

I know this sounds like something really petty, but it's the latest in a catalogue of snide remarks, and I'm starting to get cross. DD was only picking ds up instead of me... it was earlier than usual because I didn't think it was fair to lumber ex mil with him after school while I was at home. So what's the problem?

Dd is mine from a precious relationship, and since we split, neither my exh or ex mil have had anything to do with her. She's 12, and she was doing me a favour, and I'm pissed off that ex mil spoke to her like that.

Do I ring her and find out what her problem is? Do I speak to exh about it? WWYD?

I'd just ignore it. Presumably your DD knows what ex MIL is like so she cash are in the eye rolling.

To be honest, yes I would ring her and keep very calm but say that if she has a problem in future then not to make it your DD's but to phone you direct about it.

So do you think Mil is thinking she is being used as babysitter while you lounge around at home? Because I would put her straight, it was ds time with his dad, what you did (being ill, partying, whatever ) is your business and if she doesn't want to watch her grandson, she should take it up with exh.

I would ask her, but I never shy from confrontation, which can also bring problems.[

Depends how well you usually get on, would this cause a rift?

Supercherry I'm not sure I can keep calm. I'm worried that if I start, I might not stop...

perfumedlife I probably haven't explained myself very well - I dropped ds off at 7:45 to his dad, and he took him to school. Ex mil picked him up from school at 3:15 and had him until 3:45, when dd picked him up for me. If ds wasn't at school, I wouldn't have let ex mil have him all day, he would have been here with me. If that makes sense

Ah I see. So Mil was picking ds up from school, but it was Mil helping out her son, not doing you a favour. Has she lost her voice or dialling finger? If she was too ill, she should have called her son or you, not impart her moans to a poor kid who is already feeling the backlash of this separation and no doubt feeling sidelined.

Feel sorry for your daughter, it cannot be nice seeing how little she means to these people.

Grrr. Don't even get me started on that little situation She likes the whole passive/aggressive thing, always has done.

You know what? Dd has never been happier since we split. Should have done it ages ago, in hindsight. We've sort of bonded over it, and become much closer as a result. Thank you.