Advice on getting back with ex please!

[confusedyoungmummy]

I'm new to this site and just wanted some words of wisdom/advice please. Sorry its quite long!

Me and ex-partner split up 1 year ago (after 4 years together)we have 2dc aged nearly 4 and a 5 month old. The reasons we split were because he didnt trust me (due to my promiscuos past b4 him) which caused controlling behaviour. As well as this, being young (i'm 23 now) i'd lost all my confidence and my identity I just felt trapped and old before my time, (missing the single life) despite him being so in love with me, an amazing dad, kind and caring when he wasnt criticising I didnt want to settle when I wasnt happy.

Thinking that my life would change for the better when we split it just got harder and ive been struggling ever since to raise our two kids and do my degree. Yet, throughout all this he has continued to try and make it work between us getting help with his trust issues and even proposing to me, at first I kept saying no and told him to move on. But now im considering giving it another go because after 1yr i still love him, hes always been an amazing dad, i can see the changes and effort he keeps making and ive realised that despite our issues someone who genuinely loves you in this day and age is hard to come by so its worth putting in the work. But im scared it will go back to the way it was.

Thoughts or advice please thanx for reading.

You have an opportunity here - take it. He's made an effort, you still love each other and it is up to both of you to make sure it doesn't go back to how it was.

Can you just go out with each other again ?I wouldnt move in together way to much pressure but relationship worth a try if you think he has grown up a bit and you both respect each other .If you get alarm bells then you can just jump out again ,at least you tried .As long as ur sensitive to ur dcs feelings re this i dont see the problem .Make sure he knows what upsets you and puts pressure on you and dont let him tell you what you should be doing .If you are both your own people now coming together to compliment each other not control each other then just enjoy yourselves x

Thankyou for the advice

Karmann- your right this is an opportunity and I know many dont come along in life so I should take it Im just worried that i'll always be searching for something more/better to come along

Patience- living together was alot of pressure as he moved in with me nearly straight away. I think we have both changed and I do need to express how I feel more as this was also an issue with me being scared to speak out alot of the time as I dont like conflict. We always put the kids first so I wouldnt even consider this if I thought it would effect them badly.

I know that CYM its just all part of the package now ,the dcs.I read a link from grace the other day and it said dont move in with someone for at least a year .I thought that was a great tip.You are considering commiting for a lifetime so whats a year .You will still have your space but not get steamrollered back into the old patterns ,good luck !