SolidGoldBrass - a Q for you....

[LastOrdersAgain]

Right, as you know from a thread I started a few weeks ago, me and (ex)DP went through shit times, and I wondered if I was gonna be happier just being single.

We had a huge convo, sorted loads of stuff out, said we both didn't want to walk away just yet and carried on.

Anyway, the shit well and truly hit the fan at the beginning of the week, and it is over. For good. Most definitely. No going back for absolute certain.

Buy... last dilemma I need your help with.

How the blinking hell do I tell my DS? I have put it for the last few days, and need to put it off until at least next weekend as I have a very important/hectic week coming up and need to focus on that (Freshers Week!!)

But I know he's going to be heartbroken. 2nd 'serious' relationship break up in a year, 2nd man to walk out of his life. How am I going to explain it? I'm dreading it :(

but not buy

Is he going to walk out of his life? Is there no option of encouraging contact or communication between them?

Even if it's not a 'forever' arrangement, it's great (when appropriate - although obviously often it isn't) if the leaving partner can spare the children the consideration of remaining in contact, at least for a while.

It can help to lessen the blow and reinforce for the children that it isn't them that are being 'left', IYSWIM.

Ex won't even entertain the idea, Bast. All ties have been cut his end already, he's walking and not looking back. Which is absolutely fine for a single bloke, but spare a thought for the child being left behind. In a way, I'd prefer if all ties are cut too, but just knowing what to say to ds is so hard. They had formed a very close bond over the last 8 months.

2 major break ups in 1 year?

How long had you been with the 2nd bloke?

2 major breaks ups in one year? I don't know the backstory but are you going to take a step back before jumping in again feet first?

S l o w next time. It's all well and good saying it's easy for the single bloke, it is you are right but you need to forsee this as his mum. It's not long enough for you to get to know someone thoroughly 8 months, so it all must have gone too quick. I hope your ds takes it as well as he can.

8 months isn't really a steady relationship.

Tbh I think you introduced your ds far too soon.

I think you over estimate how heartbroken your DS is going to be. Maybe you are looking at this with adult eyes, not those of a child.

How old is he?

If you keep men as "mummy's friends" then I don't see why he should be heartbroken in future if things don't work out. First and foremost they are your boyfriends, not a dad substitute after only 8 months.

You need to avoid creating a situation where you expose your son to men so quickly and so intensely. But at the same time, kids get over things and 8 months is nothing.

What you say to him dpends on what he knows already adn how old he is. I am assuming he is primary school age or younger? if so, just tell him that X has had to move away and that you won't be seeing so much of him. I doubt he is old enough to be troubled with the ins and outs of your relationships. Just keep it simple.

Isn't this thread just for SGB?!!

BC- maybe but in her absence others are trying to help.
Why is her opinion sought anyway on this?

Because she gave me some very good advice on another thread in relation to this. This thread isn't about how fast I jump in, whether it was a steady relationship or not, but some advice from SGB.

So cat her then.

I don't have cat, or I would.