Is it nornal to start disliking people more as you get older?

[thedollshouse]

I'm not sure whether I'm becoming a miserable witch as I get older, I just don't seem to have much time for people. When I was younger I always saw people through rose tinted glasses - I liked everyone unless they proved themselves to be unlikeable. As I've got older I'm more guarded and it takes a while for me to "like" someone. When I'm with friends and they gush about people they hardly know I find it very false and quite nauseating.

I also seem to have run-ins with people on a regular basis. Perhaps years ago I was a bit of doormat and let people walk over me now I speak my mind and if people cross me they soon know about it. It was easier when I was a doormat but I can't let things go like I used to in the old days. If a stranger is rude to me for no reason I have to put them in their place.

When someone is kind to me I am touched and very surprised. In my eyes the world is full of selfish twunts and an act of kindness is so lovely and so rare.

Am I becoming a wierdo as I approach 40 or is the world just full of not very nice people these days?

I don't dislike other people, but having a bit more life experience of nasty things these days, I do feel that about 99% of the population would be better off dead.

So if I ever take over Dignitas, watch out - I'll be offering 3 for 2 deals before you know it. For your own good.

I'm more understanding of people, and I have a lot more genuine appreciation for those I like and love.

However I do find that real friendships take a long time to cultivate, and while I can be tolerant I also feel that people have to prove themselves to me more. I have little time for superficial bollocks.

I am particularly old. And particularly suspicious and nasty. Misanthropic gets nowhere near. But I have been like this for a while. Since being about 3?

Good things about being old:
You don't care so much what people think, so you can be yourself.

Plus: You have much less to lose, so you can be brave and say it as it is.

Plus: You can repeat yourself as much as you like and people have to listen out of respect.

Plus: You can repeat yourself as much as you like and people have to listen out of respect.

And you can make jokes that aren't funny. So many things.

I've decided that the whole being old and wise is just a case of being old and cynical (cynical = wise!).

Growing older is like the dance of the seven veils: a series of revelations as each veil is whipped away from in front of your eyes and you can see things for what they are.

And they're not all bad.

I've just been reading about how some people are enjoying the menopause, and I know what they mean. More time and energy, for a start.

So there is hope. [sobs into her pillow]

I like people less as I get older.
However the people I like most (and whon are my oldest friends) are the non whingy cheerful ones. I really admire the positive people who never have a bad word to say about anything.
It's a rare talent and found I have to say, mostly in my posher friends.

Perfectly normal OP - I cannot get the lid down on my bastard box - I have put too many people in there

I'm not sure it's got anything to do with age. I've been through some quite antisocial phases and I think it comes naturally with having children, building a family, there are phases where you will cocoon with them and phases when you are more outgoing.

I do think it's a bit about what you put out though. When you're feeling antisocial, you don't pursue dates and you keep your head down and assume that people aren't interested in you.

I know a lot of people will disagree but I've found things like blogs and facebook help. Often when we're doing coffee mornings with new friends, it's all small-talk and "what did you see in your dc's nappy this morning?" and it takes a long time to get to know people on any deeper level.

People often put a lot more about their personal beliefs, values, religion, politics, parenting style and other stuff on blogs so you can filter out the people that you disagree with on everything and concentrate on the people with more compatible beliefs. A lot of my closest friends, both local and distant FB/blog a lot and that really helps our friendships on a deeper level imo.