Moral dilemma

[ETfingers]

Could you support a friend who had an affair?

A friend has confided in me (and other close friends I imagine) that she has had an affair, is unhappy and no longer loves her husband , who is now fully in the picture.

I fundamentally disagree with her actions but in my heart I want to support her.

Could you put your beliefs to one side and support or not?

I would always stay friends with someone in this situation, indeed have. I don't go on about what great choices they have made, I would point out what a mess they are making and I don't want to be used as an excuse or involved in any way, but they are still my friends. That's the great thing about friends, unlike in relationships, you don't tend to expect your friends to be morally superior being, well I don't anyway.

I'd say you probably could support her, because supporting her does not mean advising her. So you can still help her get through what must be quite a tough time for her, without letting her think that you approve of her actions iyswim?

I had a simelar situation, although my friend wasn't married and she had a very brief fling which is now forgotten about. At the time I told her that I didn't agree with what she was doing, I told her to think of her DP and all that sort of stuff, because I was wedding planning at the time so thoughts of serious commitment were in the forefront of my mind. Because of that I don't think I supported her as well as I could have done because my own opinions were making me very judgemental, so she turned to other friends instead. It's all fine now and her fling ended very quickly thankfully. But I had all the same thoughts as you, and I didn't want my then fiance to think that I would be capable of doing something like that to him because my closest friend was doing it.

It does put you in an odd position, OP, and it's good that you are thinking about how it makes you feel too.