So, DP and I work in the same industry, but in completely different fields and different companies. I recently moved jobs because I was being bullied at my last job by my managers, and was utterly miserable (but still my pay was decent).
Upon moving, I was given a raise, which obviously, has been wonderful and the new job is working out well - it's interesting, the people are nice, my managers are supportive and want to help me develop (which is such a nice change from people trying to undermine me all the time), though at times it's really quiet and I get bored, but it's starting to pick up.
DP's miserable at his job, and has been for a while. Despite being promoted, his pay has actually been cut over the last three years, and he is working much longer (and busier) hours than I am. Obviously, this is making him miserable, and he is (finally) getting around to trying to find something new - had two interviews last week for an internal position (which sounded very interesting - I was actually a bit jealous) and has been talking to lots of senior people, many of whom are saying he's great, and they're more than happy to help him find stuff. He's working on a big project which is making him crazy busy, but it should all be completed in two weeks time, and his work load will calm down. You'd think this might alleviate some of the months of gloom and general grumpiness that he's been through, but no. He continues to complain all the time. The plan is to move country in about 18 months/two years time, so both of us are looking to be in a position to find a good job when we move country.
I have tried to be as supportive as I can through all this. As at present my workload is much, much lower, I've sorted out bills, bought groceries, cooked, done laundry and sometimes ironed his shirts (e.g. before a big meeting).
But, every time something good happens to me work wise, he tries to guilt me about it. In my old role, I got a bonus. I told him. I then got told that I was being insensitive for telling him and that it's really unfair (because he didn't get as much money as I had, but then, his employers nearly went under a few months before, so I wouldn't expect them to be paying my out). Since I've moved roles and started being paid more than him - all I get is "you're so wealthy" blah blah blah - conveniently forgetting that I got myself into tens of thousands of pounds into debt to pay for the education to be able to be in a role which pays well. And on the grand scale of things, I'm not paid that much, just more than him. Then, my manager and I were discussing the possibility of me doing some professional training (which would be great for my career), and all I got from him was "but how's that going to affect our plans to move?" no "congratulations - that's a wonderful opportunity; you should look into it". None of that. Now a similar thing today - had an objective setting meeting with my boss, and some interesting work is coming my way, so I told him and his response was "Well that sounds like a very good meeting, your Manager seems rather nice and you like your job, all good. I?m very far from that. You?ve made a very smart move."
I suppose 1) this was a chance for me to offload - there's few people in RL I would be willing to and 2) I just wish he'd be happy for me. I know he's having a miserable time, and is stressed (I live with it every fucking day), and wants to move jobs, but there's nothing more I can do.
Sorry it's so long