Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Don't I deserve some respect?

4 replies

HappySlapper · 14/09/2010 13:04

Bit of background - I separated from exh in May this year - there was no one reason for it, just had come to the end of the road, imo. He asked for a trial separation, and I agreed, but told him that I didn't think a 'trial' worked - we should separate for good. A couple of days later, he asked to try again, and I refused. So we have been apart ever since.

He sees lots of ds - a couple of overnights a week and almost every day either before or after school. I also have a dd from a previous relationship, that he has not spoken a word to since the day he left Hmm

The problem is this - he talks to me like crap - looks at me like I'm something on the bottom of this shoe - generally as if I'm being punished..... for what? I really wanted to stay friends for the sake of ds, but it's becoming increasingly difficult not to rise to this - I am never anything but reasonable and cordial towards him, and I don't deserve this treatment. Plus it makes me really fucking angry

Do I confront it, and let my calm exterior sink into screaming fishwife mode? Or just carry on with the ignore, ignore, ignore thing that I have been doing...?

WWYD?

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 14/09/2010 13:16

He is throwing toys out the pram because you didn't want him back. Good thing you didn't if that's his maturity.

I would inform him I would not continue any discussions if he persists in using such a disrespectful tone. He can see the child away from your home, I wouldn't let him cross the threshold.

As for ignoring your dd, his step daughterHmm

Says it all really. Well shot.

SurreyAmazon · 14/09/2010 16:33

I applaud you for maintaining some decorum in the face of such childish behaviour. I would keep it up because if he sees you responding to his behaviour, then he will use it to control you. His hurt feelings are something he will just have to get over and with time, he will.

I have a feeling it might get worse with the Christmas/New Year holidays coming up so you might want to start thinking of coping strategies.

What an arse @ "I also have a dd from a previous relationship, that he has not spoken a word to since the day he left"

Good luck!

SA

SolidGoldBrass · 14/09/2010 16:38

Treat this knob like a toddler having a tantrum: be polite but firm and distant. Tell him that he is not allowed in your home if he can't behave in a civil fashion and if he tries to get physically aggressive, call the police and have him removed.
You have done nothing wrong. Everyone is entitled to leave a relationship that they no longer want to be in and he will just have to get over the fact that he's dumped. At least this pathetic behaviour should keep you feeling good and strong about having been right to bin him.

MadAboutQuavers · 14/09/2010 16:52

Agree with perfumed and SGB

Put him straight in no uncertain terms. Why should you keep quiet about someone's shitty treatment of you? It doesn't matter who they are, they need telling straight.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread