ive namechanged my name and yes this is a long one as i need to get it off my chest.
Ive been with my fiance for nearly 10 years and living together for 7 years. Life had been good till he became self employed 3 years ago. Money was so tight that i went from sleeping through the night to waking up average 5 times a night. We are constantly bickering over silly things like his shoes not put away cos he got huge feet and i or the kids trip over them. Im just finding little things to start picking on him for days till it turn into a row.
We're not sleeping together which it doesnt help cos of the knackered mattress as we do need a new one as before we were rolling into each other so hes sleeps downstairs on the floor on the camping foam etc.
Now the business is slowly picking up again (After we lost a few thru the recession), i was still not sleeping properly as probably was doing it as a habit, so ive just finished the prescribed tabs as it was stronger for me than the ones from the chemist. Im still waking up once a night, but still feel exhausted but i do feel abit better than i did before as was like a walking zombie for 3 yrs before i decided to take the tablets and i look terrible as hate looking in the mirror cos ive got purple rings and bags started to appear cos lack of sleep. i feel like i could do with a month of sleep.
My fiance is on a very low wage and got a business partner too but we've worked out its not worth me going back to work so i will wait till my youngest who is 1 starts school full time.
I feel like we are not both switched on and money still a little bit tight. Ive started to go to the keep fit classes at night with a friend which it helps me to wind down and sleep better. My fiance paid a full year to use the gym but only went a few times so that was wasted. He couldnt be bothered but he had no mate to go with too so that was hard.
Ive said to him a few times, "before you go out of the door, make me a bottle for the baby whilst ill help my eldest who is 5 on a couple of things before school" but hes struggling to get up and most of the time is late for work.
It just little things gets to me like i go to the gym and i do ask him nicely to hoover up for me whilst hes looking after the kids but when i come home, he still not done it and then im in a mood and end up doing it myself.
The arguement weve had this morning that he wants a complete guidance to know wheres the eldest keeps her knickers cos i asked him to find them but he still doesnt know where they are kept!!! 
or all men like that!!, and he WILL do stuff around the house when i ASK him to do it which thats fine, but lately i told him that hes getting worse being untidy and ive gotta tidy up after him aswell the kids too.
I DO want to marry this man as hes brilliant in every way but hes annoying me as when im tired i am moody and ive got no patience to be patience with him or my eldest. My memory is crap as even if i do write things down, i forget about it! 
i want to start college to change my career but i feel its abit too much for me atm.
We've gone through our bills whats need deleting and changing so thats done.
i dont want my fiance to pack me in as we really do love each other and he been so calm and he handle stress alot better than me.
help!!