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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

zero sex life ?

46 replies

snares · 14/09/2010 08:44

How bad is our sex life. we have four kids and a small house. we have sex on average once a month for about 30 seconds at best in case one of the kids come upstairs. last thing I said during our last brief encounter was, "you better hurry up".. not very romantic!
Most DH doctor has prescribed him bromide to try to keep down his urges.I am pretty indifferent to the whole situation now.
How bad is your sex life ?

OP posts:
Mouseface · 14/09/2010 14:41

AF - yes, 16 months. DD is 11yrs. Big gap due to losing triplets in between.

Blush sorry for hijack.

AnyFucker · 14/09/2010 14:49

aww, bloody hell Sad

AnyFucker · 14/09/2010 14:49

don't worry about hi-jacking this thread, mf

it ain't real Grin

Mouseface · 14/09/2010 14:52

Gawd, don't start that again, we'll be drummed out of Relationships if we're not careful!!! Grin

What with this, 'sad dad', 'ladies thoughts' and alike.

AnyFucker · 14/09/2010 14:53

I know mf, I am currently on another thread (which shall remain un-named) currently awaiting deletion

hey-ho

Mouseface · 14/09/2010 14:56

You are naughty, but I like you! Grin

Original poster
snares · 14/09/2010 15:23

Its butyl-bromide. I think he was hoping the doctor would prescribe viagra. but he obviously went the other way and said it would ease stress and its a passion killing drug. like I say I'm indifferent and am quite happy with the situation. too tired for sex anyways. Just thought that it couldn't get any worse.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 14/09/2010 15:26

snares - I'm curious as to why you wanted to know about others sex lives then? If you're indifferent about your situation I mean?

When you say that you 'just thought it couldn't get any worse'......what do you mean?

Original poster
snares · 14/09/2010 15:28

No I'm not after salacious stories really. just wanted to show anyone else with similar problems that it couldn't be worse than our situation.

OP posts:
Malificence · 14/09/2010 15:42

The poor bloke's only trigger happy because he only gets laid once a month, 30 seconds of sex is hardly satisfying for either of you.

I struggle to believe that a doctor would prescribe a perfectly healthy man something to lessen his libido.

It's a real shame that you're denying yourself and your husband the true pleasure and intimacy of good sex.

How can you be happy when you say it couldn't get any worse? Confused

Mouseface · 14/09/2010 15:45

snares - why not try and change things then? It sounds as though you are far from happy with the situation and maybe just accept it.

Original poster
snares · 14/09/2010 16:01

well I'm not about to give up on DH and the kids for those reasons. I don't see anyway out. we have even talked about having an open relationship so maybe he could get his leg over somewhere else (discreetly). I'm so tired after work, getting the kids to bed etc. it's a miracle if we haven't had a row about something or other by the end of an evening and are in a foul mood with each other. so I'm not bothered at bedtime and he just takes his pills. we're just at a stalemate.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 14/09/2010 16:12

snares

So, take the pressure off bedtime and maybe have a sheet shuffle in the morning. Saturday or Sunday?

It think if you do go down the 'open relationship' route, it will only impact on the problems you are having.

Have you thought about just trying to enjoy one another for a while instead of full blown sex? Why not play with him or let him play with you for a while.

It doesn't have to lead to anything but if it does, then great.

He clearly still wants to be intimate with you. I'm just surprised that his GP has given him something to reduce his sexual appetite, if he has nothing medically wrong with him?

Original poster
snares · 14/09/2010 16:16

He went to see the doctor because he felt stressed. ironically it's home life not work life that was causing the stress. he probably spilled the beans our non-existent sex life.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 14/09/2010 16:34

Even so.....what an odd thing to do? Surely the GP should be looking at ways to help you both?

Maybe I have a very understanding GP! How about giving the morning sex a shot or just having a bit of a fumble!! Put the fun back into it.

Original poster
snares · 14/09/2010 16:42

The kids are up by 8am the youngest at about 6am. we grab about 30 secs on a sunday (when its my lie in) and he brings me a cup of tea when the kids are downstairs. I'm probably only up for it then when I'm ovulating (hence once a month) and feel a teensy bit irie.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 14/09/2010 16:50

Well, I'm not sure what else to suggest then!

Other than I hope things change for the better sometime soon. Smile

onlyjoking9329 · 14/09/2010 16:52

How happy are you together?
If my drive disappeared I'd expect it was because of something that was happening out of the bedroom.

Irishchic · 14/09/2010 17:04

This does not ring true to me, it just doesnt sound genuine. If it is genuine then it is all very very odd...

AnyFucker · 14/09/2010 18:52

no shit, Sherlock Wink

Irishchic · 14/09/2010 19:57

My talents are wasted - I should be working for MI5 [GRIN]

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