i am at breaking point....

[CRAZYCREW]

well i honestly could walk away... I am utterly iserbale although everybody things i am strong and happy on the surface.

basically i live alone (partner left me) I ahve four children 19.17. 9 and 17 mths and a grandson 10 mths that live with me....

my grandson is poorly as his heart was the wrong way round cctgs, he is on loads of meds and also has athma. he is however at this moment in time thriving.

My daughter is the main concern.. I cannot cope with the mental and ohysical abuse she gives me. She is diabetic and uses it like anorexia to control her weight and se is tick thin.. she has abused her body this way on and off for 2 years but recently it is so bad her bloods are over 35 and register hi.. the higher she is the more she loses weight.. last week she gotso bad she was in and e being resussed fro 5 hours and icu fro 4 days until they got her stable... it is her baby that has the problems.
she is also a trainee nurse at college and works on the wards.. she has won nurse and student of the year and how she works and functions i just do not know but think she does not do her insulin of nights and weekends. I have socail services involved and they are coming back next week as I ahve tried everything and nothing works and now so scared she is going to die as she breathes so bad.. she has lost most of her.
She is getting hekp from a psychologist and also the diabetes team but we are getting no where.. last night she kicked me, hit me with shoes and verbally abused me just beacause i wanted her to test her bloods. I have resideceship of her bbay and she hates but i needed to tyo cover the welfare of my grandson. we live in lovely home and she does everything for the baby and the best mum ever when comes to parenting as he does all his feeds, foods etc before sets off.. has routines and sticks to and stimulates him so very very well. Although 17 she says she is a mum now and nver goes out although may go for a meal with freinds and she has applied for uni for next year just last week.

The point is i feel awful and my inner feeling say she is not going to be here much longer as know she is very very ill.. what can i do.. any suggestions please..

Thanks so much Nicola x

can you get her admitted into an eating disorder clinic?

have tried this but noit getting anywhwre at all... she is very very ill and so thin... she is 7st and normaslly on average baout 10 as big boned.. its not just the eating disorder it is her having so high bloods thatgive her keytones and then her body is shutting down.

thanks for replying

Crazycrew, not surprised you feel like walking.

I suppose the baby's father is not around?
If she adores her child she needs to know she risks dying and leaving him, really know it. Did you see any fear or regret when she left the I.C.U.?

Because if there was none, she is clearly too far gone and i would think hard about having her sectioned. Its for her own good. She sounds like she is addicted to the high she gets from the diabetes, and being thin. Its not that different from any other addiction to me, and she really needs halp fast.

But then, so do you. Who helps you Crazycrew? Who listens to your worries?

This is going to sound awful, but can you get her admitted under the Mental Health Act?
That way she can get help for her eating disorder which is slowly killing her. I think she needs psychiatric help.
Really hope you get this sorted op, it sounds horrendous. I also think you need a break....before you break down.
Can not her father take some resposibility?
So sorry you are having to go through this. ((hugs))

Hi there thanks for your kind replies.... the babies father is around and they are still just togther but sure she keeps giving him money to keep him.. he is loving and caring but while she was in icu i saw him kissing 15 year old girl and he had been seeing her. My daughter wants to keep him as he is the babies dad... I even had him living in my house, got him a job, got him in college and stopped both. He does soemthing called weed and somebody knocked on my door asking for money ad i thought that was enough as do not want to subject my children to that so told him hehad to move as he would lay in bed until one and do nothing.
My daughter goes to college 2 days and actally works on wards 3 days and does shifts and he does nothing.. she wants to better herslf for the future and her son but honestly the way it is going she will not be here.

As regards showing feelings after she came out of ICU, SHE DID NOT SHOW MUCH AT ALL and it is far worse now than ever as she is hi all the time on the metere and her long term bloods unreadable... god i just do not know what to do and dreading her coming home later as i will again ask her to do her blood suagrs and then she will start on me and hate it as does my 9 year old son who has to stand in front of her to prevent her from hitting me.
She really is poorly as so breathless.. I am so so scared as feel inside i am fighting so hard and nobody ius listening. I had a carers assesment done last week and honestly yes i do need to get away and yes do have the back up of my parents but feel it would be wrong to leave them to deal with these situations and also feel selfish to go away to be honest. She has some holiday vouchers she got from the family fund but we would get no insurance for her to go away but we have booked keycap in May next year to look forward to for the whole faily but we still have soem left and she has not been away fro 2 years like me.
hER FATHER IS GOOD BUT HE lives away and he tells me she should not of had the baby but honestly she is the best mum ever and gives him a brillinat life with routine and i am not as good mother as her and she does not regret none of it.

Her body looks awaful like a skeleton and you can see all her bones.

I wish just soembody would listen to me as to the serious of this. She even has her own big room as a moved to the futon in the attic to give her space.

thanks anyway its good to talk.

nicola x

It strikes me as odd, she is planning for a better future by going to college, applying to Uni and doing her nursing, and yet she is dicing with death re the diabetes. What part of life and death is she just not getting?

The fact she wasn't concerned about the ICU stay makes me think she really is in deep denial about the risk to her life and for that reason i would ask the GP what help he can give you. It could be a mental health issue and sectioning her might be an option.

This is no way for you to live. You have a baby yourself to look after. How about being firm with her. Say nothing tonight, watch and wait for a while and see if she takes her meds. Then if she kicks off when you later ask, tell her she has to move out if she does it again, you are not her punch bag.

The boyfriend sounds useless. I will probably hurt you by saying this, but she shouldn't have had the baby. She is trying to be a student/nurse/mother whilst living with you and a loser boyfriend and neglecting her health. Its too much.

Yes I know re the baby but she is so anti against abortion etc... beleive me she is the best mother other ever re here son and his care and where she ets the energy from I just do not know.
Her option would have to take ayear out from her studies and found herself but our local hospital is not running the voacational trainee course again due to lack of governmnet funding.
She hates the house I know for soem reason and unsure why.. she will not do her insulin i can promise you and when i ask her nicely it is when the trouble starts.. my mother has my son today as all i have done is sit and cry while my son not in (my 9 year old).. I myself are very low and even thought today about leaving but nver would as have younger children to care a look after. I ahve lways worked full time so lost all that too as the baby cannot go do nursery as he cannot get colds and cannot be left to cry so i stay at home with both babies and care fro them and take them to toddlers etc which is very very hard when so close in age..
She has been like this for years but nver to this extent ever and my gut feelings says i have to act or it will be too late and i know it will be as her breathing is so bad. I used to worry about her getting thrown off the cousre or the fact her son will be taken off her but now all i worry about is her.

The gp HAS BEEN TOLD AND SHE SEES SOMEBODY like a psychologist and has been for ages so he wont do anything, the diabetes team not sure what to do any more and been referred to socail services as a child in need both her and her son. I have been to court to residence of the baby to cover our backs but we have a big family very loving a nd caring if need be. I cope as I ahve to cope but it is so hard.
thanks for your words.