Need some support - Grace, smithfield or anyone else with comlex families

[roseability]

Sorry to start a new thread about me but I couldn't find the old stately homes thread

I have just finished a year of therapy about really complex family issues and had been doing great.

It is like my narcissistic, witch adoptive mother knows this somehow and today she phoned after weeks of no contact

I broke my rule which was to keep our conversations short and about neutral things like the weather and how the kids are doing. However she phoned at a bad point and I got sucked into a typically emotionally draining conversation. I hate myself for bringing things up I should just not discuss with her because she lies, denies and gaslights until we go round in circles and it wrecks my head

Argh. Now I am sitting here sobbing and my kids are watching TV eating biscuits

Oh, Rose :( I've done it more than once, as well. When there's something I really want to discuss with mine, I aim to careful about when & how to do it - and to have a diversion plan in place. As you say, though, she'll fish and dig. If I'm feeling fragile I get dragged in and hey presto, suddenly she's in charge of my feelings! Argh!

Biscuits sound helpful ... Do whichever exercises work for you, cut her ties, re-draw your boundaries. Onwards and upwards :)

The current Stately Homes has a typo in the title. I'll be there myself later, and will check to see if you've added stuff about today's phone call. Hugs x