sex life dwindling to nothing

[mummysgoingmad]

dp and i have been together for 3 years and by the lack of activity in the bedroom you would think we had been together for 20 years!

Right now we have sex twice a month if i'm lucky, and its alway me that makes the advances, quite frankly i'm sick of it!

what can i do to try and spice things up without jumping on him (which is basically what i do now) i've tried drssing up, sex games, making his dinner in nothing but a body stocking and all i get is i'm tired or in a minute. and then when we do have sex its like a race to finish, all the moves are the same etc etc.

I know he's not having an affair, when he's not at work he spend every waking moment with us, so i cant figure it out, is it me?

Please help me i don't know what to do.

I would just outright ask him what his problem is

Perhaps he has a low sex drive. How were things in the early days? You do need to talk to him so he understands that this is upsetting to you.

This might help....

Intimacy and Sexuality
In couple relationships, there is sexuality. It may take many different forms at different stages in the relationship and it may be shaped by many forces. The role of sex in a relationship may be influenced by the age of the partners, previous sexual experiences, cultural conventions, religious beliefs, morality and etiquette, personal expectations, and other social and personal influences in the lives of the partners.
But in couples, a sexual life is always assumed to exist at some point in the relationship. It is, at the very least, presumed that there will be a sexual relationship in the future even if one does not already exist.
It is not the intention of this article to improve your sex life. Instead, the goal is to help you reflect upon and explore the nature and role of sexuality in your relationship by taking 4 easy steps. You will be the judge of what's "right" in your relationship.
Step 1: Being Alone Together
Being "alone," usually means just that. But one of the unique features about a couples relationship is that you can be alone, together. The first step in this adventure in intimacy and sexuality is find a private place where no one will bother you, and plan to be in this private environment for at least 30 minutes, alone with one another.
Create an intimate mood by playing soft music, dimming lights, lighting candles, or by making other changes to the environment that will heighten your sense of being alone together. Create a sense of intimacy in which your attention is focused on one another alone without the distractions of daily life.
Step 2: Massage
Each take at least 10 minutes to gently massage one another. Using a massage or bath oil, gently rub your partner's neck, upper back, feet, and hands. As you rub these areas, focus on how they look and feel their contours and texture.
As you massage your partner's hands, pay attention to the way your fingers can interlock and how your partner's hands can respond to yours in return.
You may take more than the 10 minute minimum and you may massage other areas of your partner's body also. You may further enhance the experience by taking a bath or shower together. Besides quiet music and the right lighting, there are other enhancements you can make to your environment to further heighten your sense of intimacy and mood.
Step 3: Absorption
Once you have each massaged one another, sit or lie together and absorb the mood. Explore your partner's face and body with your eyes and by touch if you'd like. Take your partner's hands and lead them to parts of your body you'd like your partner to explore. Use words sparingly.
Although these exercises focuses on sexuality, it is not about sex. Accordingly, the rule in this exercise is no sex. You can look, you can touch, you can kiss, you can feel passionate -- but no sex.
Step 4: Afterplay
Your adventure in sexuality may last only 30 minutes or it may last an entire evening or night. After you have mutually decided that the experience has ended, take some time to be intimate in a different kind of way. Talk to one another. Explore what the experience was like. What was pleasurable? Be honest but gentle. Plan where to go from here.

Summary
Intimacy is often intertwined with sex. In some relationships, intimacy and sex are the same thing, and feelings of intimacy are inseparable from sexual feelings. In these relationships, intimacy does not exist without sex.
But sex and intimacy are not necessarily the same thing, and sexuality plays different a role in different relationships. Take the time to understand the meaning and role of sexual relationships in your relationship, exploring with your partner what you both want and how best to create and live a sexual life that meets both of your needs and desires.

Thing were great in the early days, we couldn't keep our hands or each other, we would have sex at least twice a day. When i mentioned this he said i cant keep that up forever, which is fair enough i wouldn't expect him to, but 3 times a week would be nice