I know I am going to sound awfull but sex problems getting to me

[confusedtwat]

Now I am fully aware I am not going to come accross well here, but oh well.

I haven't been sexually satisfied by my partner for a few years now. Its not very often and it never seems like he is putting in much effort.

I have tried lots of things to spice things up but nothing is working. We did have a fabulous sex life for the first few years we were together.

He is more interested in playing computer games! If I try it on I get hang on a minute, and he doesn't stop still he cant stay awake. If he shows interest it is at times when it would be impossible to have a bit fun.

Now here is where I sound awfull and I am ready for bashing. I am finding it harder and harder to stay faithfull. to be blunt I am like a dog on heat walking around everyday. I used to find it easy to reject men that came onto me. Now the temptation is growing. I have stopped going out to pubs etc.... as I dont trust myself with drink involved.

He knows I am not happy with our sex life, but I haven't told him about being tempted for obvious reasons. Our relationship is good apart from this. But I am starting to feel a bit ugly and so need a bit of physical action.

Does nayone else ever feel like this, am I just a total cow? Is it possible to sort out.

I can see your point - but how is random sex with a stranger going to help exactly? Is this an acknowledgement that you have mentally given up on your DP? :(

Engineer a power cut and jump on him.

Talk to him.

You know the advice you will get here.

And don't say 'I am thinking of going elsewhere' unless you actively want your relationship to implode.

I haven't given up on DP for emotional fun relationship etc.....but if I am honest I have given up on him physically. I still try with him but have sort of resigned myself to it not happening.

I have talked so much I am at a loss what to say to him. I dont want to hurt him, hence why I am not going out while I feel like this. I feel so stuck.

Does anyone else ever feel like this, am I just a total cow? Is it possible to sort out.

Yes
No
Yes

If you're not being satisfied then it's not surprising you're like a bitch on heat. Try to resist. If you can't, choose a decent man. Don't tell your husband, ever. I mean ever.

As for sorting it out, it depends on him.

The computer game addiction will ruin your marriage. Tell him it has to go, or he does. Why should you put up with a sexless marriage and playing second fiddle to a playstation.

Men wouldnt put up with it, so dont you.

Or you could just relieve the physical need with a rampant rabbit or the likes. Then when he is playing with his electronics you can play with yours and if you do it in front of him you will get his attention...

Have you spoken with him about how you feel? (Other than 'in the moment'). How does he respond to knowing that his behaviour leads you to feel this way?

Otherwise, WLH's tip is a good one! That, amongst other direct distraction techniques can work wonders

Do explore all avenues, inclusive of ending your current relationship, rather than considering betrayal.

Hey ConfusedTwat,

Well did you try any of the more direct action? you could of course sabotage the playstation or just hide his favourite games...

On a more serious note: If he is pays more attention to the Playstation that you and the distraction techniques don't work you might want to consider his mental state. If he is depressed the last thing on his mind will be sex with his partner.

Men quite often get self destructive when depressed and will do things that would previously be seen as out of character such a risk taking or shutting people that care out.

The risk taking can include driving to fast to having an affair and not hiding it to well. There is an excellent series of articles on male depression here