Mumsnet validates my relationship... not that I needed it validating!

[nemofish]

Just another perspective...

I didn't realise how fucking prehistoric some men are. And I didn't realise that there were so many women prepared to accept that.

I think relationships should be an equal partnership, money should be shared (can't believe how many couples don't do this!) along with childcare and housework.

Decisions should be made together.

Partners should support each other in times of illness, (physical or mental)

Sex should be by mutual consent, not so one partner will shut up and stop bugging the other.

And nobody should be shouting / screaming abuse, name calling, emotionally blackmailing, tantrumming or assaulting anybody else.

If that is 'destroying the family' then it probably deserves to be destroyed.

I just don't get it. It's like behind closed doors, we're still in the 1950's and we're still debating whether questioning your husbands behaviour is damaging to the family unit.

I think I missed a off my last post too

But I stand by what I said...smug is not good, having experienced shitty relationships myself

however, I accept light-hearted comments in the manner in which they were meant

I was feeling rather happy with my lot.

Now I am just that I have never had a meal and recieved cunnilingus at the same time.

Sexual Top Trumps, Bof wins.

I fancy you and think you're attractive BoF

I think my Dh is great as he puts up with the constant vortex of bedlam that is me with nary a whimper

although dd is 9 months now and he still has yet to change her nappy

Honeydragon you will have to fight me for BoF.

Maybe I should tell dh about this poor poor woman whose husband refused to prepare dinner and give cunnilingus at the same time?

Agreed on every point Nemo.

It's a damn shame what some women feel they have to put up with, and I'm ever so thankful for having such an enlightened DH.

Alrighty

I concur.

The thread on MN being unhealthy for relationships forgets the fact that it can also show you how much crap people put up with and/or consider normal and make you appreciate what you have when small things niggle you.

BoF can MN while having sex - now that wins!

Very true Trillian.

Sometimes I get pissed off as dh never cleans the bathroom. But then he doesn't expect me to clean it either. If I didn't, he would, eventually. He has low standards, which is good as we can both acheive them.

Then I go on mumsnet and end up thinking well we share finances, I can rely on him to take care of dd just as well as I do, he doesn't cheat touch wood he respects me and my opinions and then I realise I don't give a crap about the bathroom.

Ow I broke a nail!

My MiL was concerned about our seperate finances, but that is because my credit file was still cack from student days when we wed and I didn't want to affect dh's by linking, and have now never got round to joint accounts.

I think your reaction is the right one, nemofish.

I worry that some women read mumsnet and I think "there, the treatment I get is quite normal after all, it happens to loads of them, in fact my DH not as bad as many women, I should put up with it"

they shouldn't. there are plenty of normal non abusive men around

I'm smug too. Smug smug smug.

I had interviews yesterday (and got the job) and because I was a bit stressed DP made me an amaaaazing meal, including baking me a divinely dirty chocolate cake (his first ever baking experience, yay) and took me out for a bottle of champagne. While I was out he also cleaned the house, took my clothes to the dry cleaners, then came to pick me up from the station.

Day to day he's equally wonderful, gorgeous, considerate and generally the best person I've ever met. Smuggity smug (and wildly lucky).