Any tips on how do I get over the all consuming heavy heart feeling and trying not to show it in front of the DD's

[eandh]

'D'H has been toing and froing for weeks but finally left on a more permanenet basis on Monday (with DD1 birthday being on Tuesday!) this was after he spent the whole weekend doing his own thing anyway.

ALthough I know this is for the best as teh atmospehere at home is already better (it had got to the point where he wasnt even really being civil and DD1 had worked out what was going on) my heart just feels like it is sinking and I feel sick and nauseous (sp) all the time.

DD2 (3) is fine and although has a few outburts has adjusted well however DD1 is distraught (not sleeping/eating/crying in school and have now worked out she is scared that I will leave too (have been giving her so much reassurance that we bith love her and that everything will carry on as normal at home)

Money wise I will just about keep our heads above water (he is paying mortgage) but realistically in the long term we may have to sell the house, I have moments where I hold it all together and the rest of the time feel like I am going to fall apart.

Family and friends have been SO fantastic but I cant keep phoning everyone up in tears repeating the same stuff. I am so angry that he can do this to us (and why couldnt he have done it at the beginning of the holidays when DD1 would have had time to adjust and her whole birthday not been ruined) He wasnt here much anyway with work and training (he goes out on bike/running etc alot as does triathlons) but its just knowing he doesnt have any feelings left for me (been together for 14 years and married for 7) He is having them Saturday (and after being a rather crap Dad (he will admit that too) will turn into father of the year for 8 hours) PIL are being okay but feel that I should attend family events for the dd's sake (ie they are having a chinese Friday night with sil/bil and kids and expected me and dd's to go how bloody confusing for my dd's???)

Arrrrgh sorry its so muddled have a million things gong around in my head, lack of sleep and lack of appetite not helping (oh and car making a very strange noise so need to go to garage too today)

Well, I'm not sure I have good advice as am going through a similar thing myself and struggling with this.

But...you shouldn't attend family events like that unless you want to. Not appropriate. Can't he take them?

You don't say how old dd1 is but if dd2 is 3 then maybe 5 or 6? It's a really difficult age because they understand some things but not others. I've been telling dd that I am sad but she doesn't have to look after me because her only job is to be a little girl and have fun. Also that just because h says he doesn't love me anymore doesn't mean he doesn't love her or that she shouldn't love him.

My friends are helping me hold it together. But it is really hard, and the dad of the year thing is immensely irritating.

I just keep telling myself that in the long run we will be fine. But it's hard to believe that. .

thank you for replying its all so shit isnt it, DD1 was 6 on Tuesday but spent most of the day in tears and refusing to eat, she isnt sleeping that well and her teacher said she cried alot yesterday and kept saying she wanted to come home.

She has been cryinga agin this morning and I know it will get better but at the moment I am really starting to get angry at him for doing this to her