Wise Mumsnetters, opinions please.
Moved away (with Mum and sister) from father when I was ten, almost no contact since then. Also have a Step-Dad. Move forward 20 years, time to move on, time to forgive and time to put the ghosts of the past to rest.
So, contacted father few weeks ago and he and his new wife (also have son, which she brought into the family) are really excited to see me (and 2 kids) and my sister. Its all getting a bit too much though, it feels. They rang lots of times now, maybe nervous that we will change our mind again about the meeting, even step-brother is getting all excited and will be there that weekend. Its all so nice and friendly, like the last 20 years of no-contact didn't exist...
So, to tell my parents or not. I guess honesty will be the best policy and we should tell them about going there. But how can I explain that its not about betraying them or looking for a new family, that they have nothing to fear from this visit.
Think that Dad will probably say its ok (not really say if he feel differently about it and just bottle it up). Mum, will probably take it really hard. She plays victim for most of the time as it is...She wouldn't be angry with us or anything like that but I know she will not be happy and make it somehow about her.
And, should I tell DD1 who is 4? She will want to know who these people are and I will probably show her where I grew up (on farm) when I was small. Don't want her to talk about 'other granddad' to my parents though if you know what I mean....
So, any pointers or past experiences will be much appreciated.