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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

constant reminders from mum

1 reply

domesticdiva · 07/09/2010 15:53

I'll try and keep this short! Its probably me being pregant and hormonal but its been driving me mad for a while now.

My mum and me have a great reletionship apart from the fact that she constantly compares my own horrendous birth/being devil toddler to my DS who happens to be fairly well behaved. My DS is 16 months and we've had the usual few months of sleepless nights BFing as a baby, and compared to his friends I considered him to be a fairly normal child developmentally and physically. I say this as he was born premature so we had those hurdles to bear.

During the last 16 months, whenever I have spoken to my mum about him I get a standard responce commenting on how bad a baby I was e.g "Oh well, YOU didn't sleep for 2 1/2 years".....following by an awkward silence. I treated it as a joke at first giving my apologies if you can apologise for your own behaviour as a baby. But now its really starting to grate on me!

I've tried saying "look I'm sorry but could we stop the comparisons as they don't help" or "I was asking about DS not me!" etc etc. but she still does it. I feel like she either wants me to feel guilty or bad over my behaviour as a baby. I can't have been that bad as a have a sister!!

Please could someone offer me some friendly advise as to what to do, do I try and ignore it for the rest of my life or say something more formally? I'm beginning to not want to go to her for advise/chat about DS's progress because of this Sad

OP posts:
Tippychoocks · 07/09/2010 17:34

Well, one answer is to not go to her for advice as she is obviously basing all her knowledge on her experiences with you and that bugs you. So ask someone else and keep asking her to stop the comparisons.
If it helps, I imagine she is looking back with a very selective/skewed memory Grin.
Ask on MN for advice and try to ignore your mum. If she persists in banging on about your horridness as a baby, just say calmly "so you keep saying" and move on.

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