Genuinely confused

[bottyburpthebarbarian]

Don't know if this should be here or in legal - sorry. I am going to post it in there too.

This has come from some issues that were raised on another thread I started earlier.

I am interested in knowing what other MNetters who are separated/divorced think.

In a nutshell, my ex and I share custody on a 50/50 basis. We have a set rota, and it generally works not too badly. (At least in terms of looking after the DD's)

I am about to start uni, and my ex wants to know who will be looking after the kids, and the times they will be looking after them. He wants to know so he can decide if he approves of them or not.

I genuinely believe this is none of his business and that since I am considered a sane safe person who is capable of looking after my children, then I am capable of deciding who will take care of them when I am not available?

FWIW he works and sometimes when he is looking after the kids, he gets someone who I definitely don't approve of to mind them - my view is that I just have to "suck it up"

Sorry for the long post but this is wrecking my head.

Just tell him you will let him know what the proposed arrangements are once you know what YOUR schedule will be.

He has no grounds to complain about anything.

You are not witholding information, or excluding him from decisons regarding the care of your DC.

You have simply let him know that childcare will have be re-arranged at some point in the future, and you will discuss this with him WHEN you know what is going on.

MrsF - thing is, girls are 11 and 8 so both at school all day.

He started it, he brought it up with me at the front door - he said "so what exactly will you be doing with the girls when you are at uni X every day"

First off, I don't go in to uni every day - it is 2.5 days a week

Secondly, both girls are in school, DD1 until at least 3.30 and DD2 until 3 every day, so it won't be a big issue

Third, I don't have my timetable yet, so I can't tell him

Fourth, I know he is struggling with childcare now the boys are heading to uni he's already asked me to "swap" two days next week, which I did - to try to be agreeable - why did I bother??