Hmmm.
Well, I tried to do it as painlessly and civilly as possible. We didn't have much to split, only around 10k, but although I was entitled to around 70% of that I gave xh 50%, so he could pay off his debts and have a bit over.
In that respect, I don't regret doing it- I did it to ease my own guilt and to have an end to it all.
But.... he didn't pay off his debts. Some of his debtors came to me for recompense and I had a hard job to fight them off. Xh remained (and still does) as feckless and useless with money as he ever was. He never pays maintenance. He hasn't seen ds1 since last Christmas.
So in that respect, I wish I'd taken everything I could, to put a bit away for ds1.
My friend, on the other hand, fought hard and long with the net result that she was able to buy her own house outright. Actually, I have two friends who did that. Their xhs are difficult about maintenance payments, although they do make them, but they pay them late, argue the case all the time, and it all causes more angst.
In conclusion, then, I would say, although it goes against my natural feelings, that she should fight hard. Not necessarily take him for all he's got- but be realistic. The most important thing is stability for the children- and that includes, imo, financial security.