I've upset my best friend

[Minnesota]

Help! I forgot a date with my best friend yesterday. We've been friends for many years. I've apologized but she is not responding to my (three) phone calls, nor my email apology. To top it off, I did the same thing about three years ago. I am a very scattered person about dates (obviously). How long should I give her before contacting again? Any ideas as to what else I can do? I feel so awful.
Thank you!

Did you leave appologies on the voicemail/email?

If you did leave it and let her contact you, either she is busy or she is 13yo and acting her age.

Give her time to get over it....a few days...then contact her again.....she'll get over it if she is your true friend (buy yourself a diary)

If it was me - very likely, cos I am scatty, I'd drop round with a cake and some flowers, but dont beat yourself up over it. It happens!!! you;ve apologised, she will come round when she is ready.

Maybe there is a reason why she hasnt responded yet. I am sure she will.

flowers and a grovelling note?

unless it was an important date I wouldnt be too worried. You have said sorry, if shes a friend she'll understand

I think it depends on the circumstances... If she was left waiting for you in a restaurant, for example, I think she'd be understandably pissed off especially if she had to call you to find out you weren't coming. Having said that, if it were me, I'd accept your apology although I'd reserve the right to be quite cross with you for at least a couple of days.

If you've apologised, I'd leave it for now and let her respond when she's ready. Hope it turns out ot be ok.

BelleDameSansMerci: Yes, I left her waiting in a restaurant! Did the same thing three years ago! Of course we've had many other dates the past three years, but I'm feeling physically sick over this...

Ooops... I know it's not funny but I can't believe you've done it twice!!

To be really brutal, though, you'd think she'd check. I know it's not up to her but, again, if it were me I would have reminded you the day before. I think everyone is so very busy and stressed these days that it makes sense to double check arrangements near the time.

Thanks BelleDameSansMerci, it is ridiculous that I did this for the second time! I'm sure she will eventually forgive me. I'm going to give it several more days (she will be very busy this week) and contact her again. Maybe by post with a dinner or event certificate we can share... If it were you, what would you think of that?

oh come on. why did you fuck up again? you need to sort out your life.

i'd be bloody annoyed.

i think you can only grovel. for a while. flowers good. but i wouldn't suggest dinner in case you don't pitch up again.

see i would always remind call or text on day but then my friends are as bad and busy as me

Minnesota sorry, went off to bed! I think that probably an apology and offer that you would buy dinner or even cook it to make up would be enough if it were me. I like the idea of the event certificate but it may be a little too much. I think it depends on your friend...

You should buy her dinner at her favourite restaurant plus cinema or show tickets afterwards.

Well I've got a friend a bit like you and most of the time its fine but it is very irritating to be left sitting around and waiting.

It always makes me feel that somehow she doesn't think my time/life is as important as hers.

So depending on if its just these two incidents or there are lots of things that you are scatty about you may find she just wants to cool things off a bit.

And really - you need to get more organised.

I was left sitting in a restaurant on my own for half an hour -friends had changed the time the evening before, but I hadn't seen their email.

I was pissed off, it was a long half hour being surrounded by large, laughing groups and the waitress kept coming up to ask if I wanted to order and if my friends were actually coming.

When they turned up, (just been sitting chatting together) I was about to leave. I had had a bad day at work and had hurried to be on time.

Not impressed