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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Late 30's, had to move in with parents and dad has drink problem

3 replies

ilovewoody · 06/09/2010 21:00

Had to move back in with my parents 6 weeks ago as I split up with DH.

They dont have much room so my dad gave up his room( they dont sleep in same room as mum is ill) and he is now on a camp bed.

As if that doesnt make me feel guilty enough I have been rowing with my dad recently due to his chronic drinking.

He drinks all day every day and some days is a right pain in the ass. Most of the time I hold my tongue but now and again I lose my rag.

I instantly feel guilty as I know they are supporting me without question but I just cant stand it

Mum puts up with him for a quiet life but it drives me crazy

Also scared that we will have a major bust up and he will tell me to leave as I have nowhere else to go

As a family we have never tackled his drinking. He thinks he is funny and entertaining but most of the time he is a huge pain. What he really is is an alcoholic.

Feeling very vulnerable at the moment and this isnt helping

Also, a big part of the breakdown of my marriage was DH drinking problems so I feel as though I am stuck in a trap

OP posts:
SirBoobAlot · 06/09/2010 21:02

I have no advice but didn't want you to go unanswered. Big hugs. I'm sure someone with some help will be along soon. x

moaningminniewhingesagain · 06/09/2010 21:28

Al anon may be worth a look. I struggled to ignore my Dad's drinking when I lived at home. On one hand he is giving you a roof over your head, but it is so hard to watch them ruin their lives with drink.

Unfortunately there is little you can do unless he both recognises his drinking is unhealthy and wants to do something about it.

Try to remember he is not your DH, not your responsibility, and a grown adult who can make his own choices, no matter how stupid they might beSad My Dad would hide drinks around the house, has totally neglected his home and his business, but he functions day to day. Not sure how TBH.

ilovewoody · 06/09/2010 21:39

Did think about Al anon due to my DH drinking problems so it might not be a bad idea to get rid of all of my demons.

I wish he would recognise he had a problem but dont think he ever will

He is such a nice guy when hes semi sober and holds down a good job

Its in his genes though so there was little he could do to avoid it. And only he could make the decision to change it

OP posts:
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