I feel so alone

[Ladywolf]

Mid July my husband told me he no longer
loved me, there was nobody else he just wasn't happy. He moved out 4 weeks ago and has now told me it is over, he doesn't want to try even though we have been married for 11 years and have 2 small daughters (aged 3 and 1)
I have never felt so alone, how do you get through it, i am heartbroken

How are you Ladywolf?

I am desolate at the moment, Still haven't told the kids, although we can't keep putting it off. What do you say to a 3 year old and a 1 year old though. I just wish this had never happened. I don't know what to do anymore.

Hi there good to see that you have come back to talk to us.

Sad that you're feeling awful, it will take time to grieve and heal but believe me it will happen. I am a year into this now and crazy though it may sound I am happier (mostly) than I have been for years. There are some crap times, yes, but inside I feel good. Lady, try and find some time to indulge yourself and do things that make you happy as much as you can, nice bath, walks in the park, coffee with friends, etc, it all helps and in times of trouble that's what I focus on.

I have older DC's so not quite in same situation, but would maybe just say something like 'daddy's living at x now so sometimes you can have fun at his house as well as having fun here'. As they are so young I think you can say very little.

Thinking of you, talk with us as much as you like x

Agree with Happy, my H and I separated last October and they were 11 months and 2 and a quarter at that stage. I just said he doesn't live with us anymore but loves you very much. I didn't need to say anymore as they were so young, I've worked hard to ensure they see him regularly and do nice things with him, we have managed to keep things amicable and take them to the park together. It's not for everyone and does require a lot of sacrifice on someones part (usually ours) but it worked for me and the DCs were more settled and calm for it in our situation, I believe. Put up boundaries that are right for you though. He never has them over night as they're so young. He doesn't want to - no wonder when it can be hardwork. I suspect he'll change his tune when he's living somewhere more suitable and they're older and easier.

Happy and I and others are often lurking on mumsnet, you can ask us any questions or share whatever you need to anytime on here.

I was in a similar situation April 09.
My ex husband of 10 years left after I got prove of an affair.
I won't pretend it was easy, it was bloody awful.
I cried lots and lots. We have a DC who was also crying because he missed his Dad. The way I dealt with that was being honest and not pretending his Dad would be coming back. We quite often used to sit on his bed at night crying together. The toughest part of this is that the ex is not there having to deal with this.
I had councelling through my doctor which was a help. My doctor I have to say was great, as was friends, family and my work.
Over time you will get stronger. A year and a half on I am almost back to my old chirpy self.
Things will never be the same again, money can be tight and I still get very lonely now but I also realise now that my ex did me a favour because hopefully I can now find a man who will treat me how I deserve (now that is a whole new thread lol).
Hope things get better for you. Cry lots because it's what you need to do.