I feel completely let down by my partner but don't know if I'm over-reacting so would really appreciate someone else's point of view.
I recently found a lump in my back and my doctor referred me to have it looked at in case it was suspicious. I'm a pretty optimistic person and felt confident that this was just a formality but never the less I couldn't help thinking the worst occasionally and have talked to my partner about it a few times over the past few weeks whilst waiting for my ultrasound. He was supportive in that he'd say it's probably nothing etc.
We have a three year old and a six month old baby so I have to say that during the odd pessimistic moments that I had I got quite upset worrying about the possibility that I might not see them grow up. I know this sounds like an over-reaction but I didn't speak about this to my partner and never told anyone else that I had a lump because I knew there was no reason to think there was necessarily anything wrong.
I had the scan yesterday and, thank god, the lump is just fatty tissue developed during pregnancy weight-gain so, of course, I'm releived and very happy about that.
The night before the scan my partner and I had an argument - it wasn't a really bad one but we went to bed without talking to each other. Because I was having the scan the next morning and he knew how nervous I was about it I presumed he would be normal in the morning. I wasn't expecting an apology - it was both of us who argued and not really a big deal. However, in the morning he wasn't talking to me and just went to leave the house, telling our three year old to say goodbye to me before he took him to nursery. I was really upset by this because I found it heartless considering how nervous he must have known I would be all morning (he was coming back with the car before my appt but even so I presumed he would understand I was going to be feeling bad during the morning). I started getting upset and we had another argument, I told him he was a callous bastard etc. He did try to resolve things but I was too upset and didn't want to talk to him. When he came back he made no attempt to talk and didn't say anything like 'good luck' before I left - he just didn't look at me.
I worry a lot about our relationship and this is partly because I do find him to be really lacking in empathy or compassion. He tells me that I'm over-sensitive, which I'm sure is true but I do feel that his lack of compassion can be quite extreme. If he is annoyed with me/we are not speaking (and I do hate the fact that we don't speak for two or three days at a time and don't think that's normal for one minute!)it doesn't seem to matter what happens - it seems like nothing would stop him from being in a mood with me. Once I found out my father was being taken in to hospital with a heart condition and my partner continued not to speak to me even though he knew that I was crying and upset.
I don't know where to go from here - I know it's all very childish that we're not speaking and it's certainly not good for the children but I feel so let down by him and his apparent lack of empathy. He did ask how it went when I got back but when I said 'fine, nothing to worry about', he said 'really?' and then we went back to not speaking! I know I'm being childish and stubborn as well for not resolving things - I just feel quite let down by what I think is a cold and uncaring attitude.
Am I over-reacting or would you feel the same?