Musing about whether DCs benefit from step-parents or not?

[RambleOn]

Having separated from my DCs father, I am pondering whether I should be ultimately aiming to provide my DCs with a stepfather or not?

Ignoring what's best for me,

Pros:
Practical support for me, therefore better quality of care for DCs
Better money situation possibly
A male role model
A model of a working male/female relationship

Cons:
Second relationship apparently even more likely to fail than the first
Source of resentment that he's 'replacing' their bio father
Plenty of opportunity for conflict

I know this sounds a bit like 'well should I go ahead and order one then?, anyone got a discount code?!'

fwiw, at the moment I feel that I would never want another relationship, just wondering if that will be letting my DCs down in some way?

Your thoughts?

Rambleon, I know exactly where you're coming from cos I am there at the mo, but I haven't been able to reach the answer myself yet- will watch with baited breath

I think DCs benefit from seeing their parents happy.

No 'father figure' is better than a bad one; but your DCs HAVE a father. Kids are more sophisticated and adaptable than we give them credit for a lot of the time.

Hello,
My 2 dcs lives have been transformed by my dp. I took things v.slowly, he was introduced to them at a pace that they could cope with and they now have a v.v.close relationship with him. They still see their Dad but he isn't v.involved in their lives and it is wonderful for them to have 2 loving adults as a constant in their lives.
It hasn't all been perfect but when I hear my dc talk about my dp to their friends I know it has been nothing but positive for them in lots of ways.
I agree with aldrin, happy parents, happy children. Oh, and always be honest with them. Good luck!

A step-parent who is a good parent can enhance a child's life (whose life is not enhanced by the presence of someone else to love you?) but a bad one can be a disaster. It's always better to be without a useless parent.