How do you feel about your partner watching or looking at porn??

[newstart2010]

My dp has always been into mens magazines with naked women in them, before he had a computer.

We were broken up for quite a long time and during that time I used a vibrator, which I told him about when we got back together. And he told me that he looked at porn online as it was better then sleeping around, which I agreed with.

But when we got back together and moved in together, he asked me to get rid of my vibrator which I said I would. But befoe I could get round to it he threw it in the bin.

So I said to him thats fine, if I'm with him I do not need to have a vibrator, but asked if he would still be watching porn? Which he replied no to.

So a few times in the past few months I have been on his computer and seen he has been looking at porn online.

I'm not sure if i should mention it or not as we have other issues about him flirting etc with other women, so seems like I moan alot at him.

Just seems unfair that he can watch porn and I cannot have anything other then him.

Just wondering how other women feel about partner watching porn, and if I am being way too sensitive about it.

ooh! That was uncalled for une! and wildly inaccurate. Bemused in an entirely benign way. Imagine a puppy dog with it's head held at an angle.

In a sort of bemused manner.

I'd actually be furious if my partner threw out my vibrators without my permission. A vibrator can be part of a healthy sex life and not seen as a threat.

I think it is pretty unrealistic for women to expect men not to look at porn, the majority of men do whether they are honest about it or not and it shouldn't be seen as a threat to your relationship unless they would rather watch that than have a real sexual relationship.

Also with regard to strip clubs, again most men, eve if they don't go to them, would love to, and to start saying oh that's disgusting etc is only going to encourage him to lie to you.

I think this issue is more about insecurity on both your parts, but also if you have problems re him flirting with other women, it doesn't sound like he is treating you with the respect that he should be, regardless of the porn/vibrator issues.

In a nutshell, he's saying that his sexual pleasure is of far greater importance than yours, and that's very wrong.
The fact that he regularly lies to you is rather worrying too.

Pan I always think it's a very patronising word.
(esp on MN!)
But you're free to disagree

Gawd, I completely disagree with most of you about porn being benign. Oh well. "You have to accept it" seems a bit defeatist to me.

Anyway as most people have pointed out, it's about this bloke being an arse.

I'd be thrilled to bits.

After 10 years of him having no sex drive at all, zero interest in anything like that, if I came into the room to find him watching porn I think I'd cry with happiness.

However, in your situation, I'd be down to ann summers to buy a new vibrator. You had an agreement. whether other people think it was a reasonable, rational or realistic one is neither here nor there - you agreed something that he has not adhered to. And since he has not kept to the agreement, why should you?

thanks for the apology......

You are insecure about him and he is insecure about you. Plenty of people enjoy porn and sex toys in a relationship. Both of you dont trust each other and I think this shows deeper relationship problems.

sunny - alot of other posters have said they would not be happy about porn too, if my dp had something that he was really unhappy for me to do, then I would stop, or tell him outright NO I AM GOING TO CONTINUE DOING THIS.