All right everyone, I've got a job for you

[purpleduck]

Ok,so, yeasterday I went back over all my old threads that I have started (in this name and others).
I was shocked (like this: :) ) that I put up with so much crap for soooo long. What the hell was (is?) wrong with me?

SO, I am encouraging everyone who has been having troubles to look back over their threads, see how long they have been dealing with someone else's bullshit. I bet (like me) there were things you put up with that you forgot, and I bet you will be horrified at the years spent dealing with the same old crap.
I regret all the time wasted.

Hi Purpleduck,
If you've arrived at the moment of clear understanding of the truth, then it hasn't been a waste of time. (It has taken me decades! )

how do you do it?

im not good with computers, sorry.
how do you look abck at threads in old names?

so have you left your partner recently or not at all?

I think sometimes when we post in anger/confusion we can look back and be more objective and be a bit stronger.

Does that make any sense?

Good for you for feeling better about things now you (i think) have done something about it.

Yes, I have separated from my husband. Have realised that although he is "good" he has very low self esteem and has needed to bolster himself through cultivating friendships with other women.

I have spent years wringing my hands, giving him the benefit of doubt.

Laloony -To find your old threads you can do it via the advanced search :)

there are other ways to bolster your self esteem than doing that. Can you imagine if the tables were turned and you had done the same?

not sure what to say purpleduck, is the situation salvageable or worth going for counselling - whether seperately or together?

He has refused to go to Relate (well, he went a few times, but made it very clear that he wasn't happy and didn't really co-operate) - said he would rather leave me and the kids than go back.

sounds like you are well rid of him.