I have an itch

[tocheatornot]

question is should i scratch it?

relitively happy marriage, dh is a good man but our sex life leaves alot to be desired. He has a very low sex drive and mine is very high.

Been married 7 years this year and last 3 years have been tough.

Have been propositioned by an ex who is single and am very tempted to have that seven year itch scratched.

If Dh found out it would all be gone. But i long to feel wanted and desired and Dh wont give me that.

I guess i know (am a namechanger obviously and been on MN for many years) i am going to get a flaming and probably know the answer to this question in my heart already BUT

If the opportunity is there to be treated like a princess for one night, noone else will know except me and Ex and because of the distances involved (he lives other side of country) i know it wont happen again SHOULD I SCRATCH MY ITCH?

oh and thanks for reading. am changing my name back and wont be reposting on this thread but i want to see answers. TIA

aww, don't

you will get hurt, as well as hurting your family

If you are a nice person, you will feel guilty, and you will spoil your relationship with your husband.
Please don't.

go for it

No, don't do it. Work on your relationship with your husband.

You can get a cream for that.

How fucking tawdry

I can sympathise, I really can but on the whole I really don't think it would be worth it. Only you and the ex would know but the point is you would always know that you had done it and the lies would always be there between you and your husband. If you really are happy with your dh in all other respects then you should at least do the decent thing and tell him how you feel. You could try talking to him about your needs and being proactive about spicing up your sex life, give the guy a chance before you introduce a whole bundle of distrust into the mix by going elsewhere.

I may also be talking out if turn here but I think that an unhappiness with the sexual side of a relationship can often reflect/hide deeper issues, if this is the case just scratching the itch isn't going to solve your issue.

i know i said i wouldnt post again, thanks for all the replies.

its good to see honest answers.....even the tawdry remark because i agree it does seem cheap and tacky.

not wishing to 'drip feed' info.......well ok i am drip feeding i suppose and apologise.

Dh and I are in that vicious circle, he knows how i feel, we go round and round in circles but i do love him. I have tried very hard to spice up our sex life. cant try any harder apart from introducing another woman which he has asked for!

so TumTumGnu you are right, this is about deeper issues.
When DH left last year for a short separation it was hell and for my childrens sake i need to stay in this marriage. i just want something for me!
I just dont know.

Think about how you would feel if the boot was on the other foot.

Would your DH onsider sexual therapy/relationship counselling?

he wants to introduce another woman...and he thinks that will "help"

he is a twat

leave him

and then find yourself a new fella

keep it clean, keep it uncomplicated

keep your dignity

if you do it,it will be the beginning of the end. if you are not happy with your h either go to relate or seperate.
if you have children, do you want the legacy that mummy had an affair.
dont know how you would live with yourself to be honest,but plenty do it.
there must be reasons he is your ex.
if youh is a good man then respect that and be honest with him

Apart from all the moral stuff and issues with your husband think on it like this.

If you do it and it's fab you're gonna wanna do it again. Seriously once won't be enough. If it's crap you will kick yourself for risking everything for one night.

Now obv you have an idea it's going to be pretty good since it's an ex and stuff..so you reckon you could leave it just at the once?

I think you should expect to be a princess for more than just one night in a blue moon.

I can really sympathise with you wanting to do this.
I was in a long term relationship with a man who had very little interest in sex and it can affect you many levels. Made me feel utterly shit tbh and ruined my confidence for a while.
I think you should do it, as long as you know you can handle it.

Sexual passion is such a lovely, positive thing to experience, why should you have to give up any hope of that for the rest of your life? If it were your choice I'm sure you would rather have a fulfilling and passionate sex life with your dh - but thats not happening.

I say go for it.
If your husband thinks that another woman is what he needs, there's something beyond just having a low sex drive. See what another man thinks of you.

There's a chance that if you are satisfied elsewhere you will stop hassling your DH so he feels less pressurised and perhaps more likely to want sex with you.

Tell him you've arranged a threesome, then introduce your ex. I think there are deeper problems at work here but I'm not sure a one night stand will help. :(

Don't do it! If you already agree that it seems cheap and tacky now, imagine how you'll feel afterwards! I read a story online once about a woman who did this, and before the deed it seemed all exciting, but afterwards she just felt cheap and guilty. That aside, is it really worth jeopardising your relationship with your DH?

I know it must seem like a tempting prospect, but I don't see how this could ever really help you. If anything it could make you less happy in your current relationship, and then you would have to deal with the fallout from that.

I agree with other posters who have suggested working on your current relationship instead.