It is now one year since I had absolute proof of my DH philandering. He has never admitted the extent of his behaviour, but a series of emotional affairs cannot be denied. I moved away to our holiday home and built up a new life. At first I was distraught and thought my life was over. With the help of MN and telephone counselling I developed new hobbies and made a big effort and now have friends and a new life which I really enjoy. I am happy. During my long marriage, my health was seriously undermined by the knowledge that something was wrong. MY DH denied and made out I was going mad. He was cruel in his denials and his mistreatment of me. He was most unfaithful when I was undergoing cancer treatment. Since leaving him my health and my appearance have improved . I no longer live with deceit, a distant critical husband who used to put me down and blame me for the state of marriage. When I left him he started to respect me and we developed an amicable non-sexual relationship. He funded me generously. However since my departure he has failed to take care of himself. Although he is in his 50s he has become quite seriously ill. He is having tests. He is making overtures to me again. He is suggesting that as I will not join him, he comes to live with me. We have a long history together and I feel pity for him. I dread any form of cohabitation with him. I don't want to be a bitch or a doormat.