Is it usual for a middle aged man to have regular trips to the cinema with work mates?

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DH has, over the last 9 months or so, started going for a meal and to the pictures c. once a fortnight with a group of people from work. Mostly men - 1 woman. Mixed age group, middle aged (like DH) to college leavers.

I don't know why exactly, but it makes me a little uneasy.

DH and I have never had the same taste in films so it's good that he has people to see "his" films with. He's also never been particularly sociable, so has often stayed home with DCs while I'm out with friends, I'm really not bother about him having nights out.

I think I'm just a bit concerned that I might not be being told the full story about who he's with, although I have no other grounds for concern (apart maybe a diminishing libido). He can always talk about the film and restaurant afterwards and doesn't seem to have a guilty conscience.

My dh has a movie buddy. They see all the crap I can't bear to sit through.

Do you know any of the other cinema goers?

hmm... why the uneasy feeling? It sounds perfectly reasonable from the way you describe it. Maybe you need to question yourself about what exactly you are uneasy about. Why are you concerned that he's not telling you the whole story when you say his behaviour is not giving you grounds? Is there something going on that you're not mentioning?

Sounds perfectly sensible to me - I can't see any reason to be uncomfy, other than that this is new behaviour for him, which is probably a bit unsettling

Not that unusual. Workmates often set up shared interests after work. At one office I was in, that did include films. I don't see why not!

Maybe someone new joined around that time, who brought this tradition with them? Would that make sense?

Create, why don't you say "I'll go with you guys this time, I actually would like to watch this movie" the next time they're going? This way you will see by yourself. And if he somehow looks reluctant or tells you that "you shouldn't come", or invent a hundred excuses why you're not welcome, then you would have confirmation that your instinct was correct.

I disagree with you aurynne. If it's an outing for work colleagues you wouldn't expect people to bring their partners unless that's the agreement. Often people will ping round an email at work saying they fancy going to a particular show etc. & does anyone else fancy going. Sometimes a few of us will go to lunch together and I often go out to a film or a show on my own as well, I don't expect my DH to doubt me.

it's normal I think - I used to go and see stand up with a bunch of workmates, mostly men, all utterly platonic. Sometimes it's just nice to do things with a group you know will enjoy it rather than make your partner sit though it if they are not really keen.

good god how depraved
regular cinema trips? whatever happened to the fast car and mistress
I don't think you need worry op. Why not try aurynne's plan to set your mind at rest

Yes, yes I know...but, I don't know!

I suspect lots of social things have probabaly been arranged over the years and he rarely goes, as he doesn't enjoy them, but this one does appeal as a fab opportunity to see a load of films he'd (more than likely) otherwise miss.

I think an alarm bell rang when I realised just how little he's wanted sex recently (yes we've talked, he's just tired...) and that seems to have started around the same time. He's also started having overnight stays with work approx once a month, which is also new, but perfectly feasible and he phones every night he's away.

Otherwise he's been the same lovely DH and dad. When he's not out/away he's home early to spend time with DCs and he arranges his nights away to fit in with my social commitments. I really need to snap out of it...I think!

PS the hotel stays are definitely paid for by the company and if he is seeing someone he's not spending anything on her - I look after our finances

DH went to the cinema with people from work last week. Thank the Lord, otherwise I'd have had to go and see The Expendables with him

I'd go with Aurynne's plan - but try and make it a last minute suggest so that there is not time to rearrange things iykwim

Hoochie - I agree with you re unexplained niggles. If your instinct is telling you something, then at least check it out - discreetly!

I think it's normal. DP and I have literally been to the cinema together about once, whereas I have seen loads of films with one or two other male friends (and female ones too of course). Is it that you're looking for an explanation for the sex thing? Because that's worth pursuing, but with so much circumstantial evidence that it's entirely unthreatening etc, maybe you need to switch off the alarm bells about this. The night away are more suspicious, and the money thing might not be a giveaway as it would go on his expenses surely?

LadyLapsang, I go on outings with people from work, and so does my DP, and it is always implicit that the other is welcome to join if they'd so like (unless it's a company/professional outing, that is). I can't see anything wrong in joining your DP/DH to dinner and movies with a bunch of workmates, and I definitely don't mind when my workmates bring theirs... actually, the more the merrier!

My husband is 30 and goes once a fornight with 2 friends (male) who are 35 and 39.

No problem, I don't want to sit thru A team and Expendables !

I think thats normal. Its just is hobby and if you didnt ever express any interest in going before then he has probably happy he has found someone who shares the same interest.

Your married you dont need to do everything the same. I am always out clubbing without my husband but that doesnt mean I am cheating on him. Its just we dont always like the same music.