HELP PLEASE ####

[trace2]

been away for weekend with dh and ds whos three, its been a nightmare.

they are always shouting at each other, ds can not do anything right in dhs eyes, dh says ds has spoilt the weekend i tell him who is the adult. i really dislike dh at the moment, just dont know what to do. i was short listed for house of terrors but back out, because i think ds is not that bad {

bump

To even think of going on House of Terrors, I guess you must be a bit concerned about DS behaviour?

Maybe you need to wait till ds is in bed and sit down and work out with dh, what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behaviour for your ds - and then work out how you will deal with it (easier said than done, I know).

If you don't work as a team, things will never get better - you need to back eachother up and support one another.

i have tried totalk to dh but he thinks hes right all the time, i know i let ds get away with to much, buthe wont here my side

I think what might be happening is, as DH is very strict, you tend to go easier on DS to compensate this?
It isn't the answer though as DS will know how to play you off against eachother. You need to stand by eachother.

Do you have a surestart in your area? I was at my wits end with my DS's behaviour so I contacted a child pychologist through them. We met her about 10 times and she offered little bits of advice which seemed to help. DS is easier to handle now, it might have been an age thing but I'm glad its passed.

thanks kid your right ds does play us off one another, and yes dh is strict,.
i have two more children from first husdand, where ds is is first.

no not got sure start nere me, have tried health vistor, but she says made a rod for my own back.

thats very helpful of your HV is it. Isn't their job to offer help and support?

i aasked for help last jan . not seen her since she said that

My friend asked her HV for help with her 2yo ds. He's a handful, Im not there all the time but it's bad enough when i visit for a few hours. She's constantly at logger heads with him.. it's a battle of will.. and when she asked her HV for advice and help..the HV said he was just "a difficult child"!!
IMO he shows signs of ADHD as my other friend's ds has it, and my nephew. Although they are older and another friend said he's just being a normal 2 yo.. i admit he's boistrous, hyper... can't sit still for 1 second..no concentration (but then again how much concentration has a 2yo child got?) I told her about ADHD which she mentioned to her doctor..who said he was too young to be diagnosed as anything yet and they would wait and see if playgroup "calmed" him down any! I told her to give him either fish oil or flax seeds... and see if she gets any peace.. I feel for her..and you. But sometimes we have to stand back and let daddy and ds get their own relationship... mine adores their daddy..but often he is too tired and ends up being off with them... which makes me mad!

I found cutting out certain foods helped calm DS down a bit. Have you tried eliminating any food?

For us, I noticed he was literally climbing the walls after eating icepoles. I stopped given them to him and he was definately calmer. He also reacts badly to jellies and pepsi is a big no no!