Mumsnetters, a confession to begin with - I don't have any kids. However my friend said that you lot were great and I can't find any other "problem" boards, so I'm hoping you might lend a sympathetic ear.
Anyway, I'll be 37 on Thursday and I've been more or less single for nearly seven years, years during which pretty much everyone I know has settled down and had kids - I've lost count of the number of weddings and hen nights I've been to.
Broke up (his decision) from a 5 year relationship when I was 30. Then, I was sad but optimistic, just thought I'd have a period of mourning and someone else would come along. I have done everything - outdoor activity groups, speed dating, online dating, blind dates set up by friends, going out to every party and event that I get invited to and nothing has clicked. I know all about not being picky and giving guys a chance even when there's been no instant attraction, have had a few short relationships but nothing has worked out.
I was living in London until a year ago when my work asked me to transfer to Hong Kong. I was reticent because I was pretty sure that if I was having trouble finding relationship in London, HK would be ten times worse because so many expat men would prefer the young Asian girls, but I decided on balance that I needed a change and went for it. Also thought that the key to meeting someone was to expand your horizons and your social circle generally. And it has actually been great - the job is really good and my social life is fantastic - but all I ever meet are couples and other single women. I just haven't met any single guys and they don't even have speed dating or much in the way of online dating here. I'm always up front with my friends about wanting to meet someone but they don't know anyone either. I think I've basically missed the boat because I'm pretty sure I'd be fine if I was 26 not 36.
Thing is I love my couple friends but I am jealous of what they have. A friend in the UK who was my single partner in crime met someone at a wedding a year ago and is now married and pregnant. When I met her fiance I was eaten up with jealousy - she and I are so similar that I'm sure if I'd met him first it might have been her coming to my wedding ;-) She was just in the right place at the right time but I never seem to be. It makes me extremely unhappy but it feels socially unacceptable to admit it.
Anyway the thing that bothers me most at the moment is that I feel I have precious few fertile years left (if not already too late)and so I need to maximise my chances by going back to the UK. That would mean resigning from my job (there's no business case to transfer me back). I'd find it hard to explain why - my married bosses would think I was being pathetic if I told them the truth which is that no job, no matter how fantastic, can compensate for being single and I feel that's rather personal, but I'd owe them an explanation. But then again leaving now would put a hole in my CV that would be difficult to explain and now is not a good time to be looking for work, and I had 5 years of no success in London anyway, so am I kidding myself that the location is the problem?
And no, I have never put my career before finding someone - have always made finding a partner a priority (though I think I've been able to conceal the desperation! ) I'm no stunner but I have it on good authority from male friends that I am perfectly dateable and that I look more early than late thirties. If anything they tell me that I might put men off by being outgoing and having a good job but all my married female friends are like that and they managed to find men who weren't scared of them!
I'd be really grateful for any advice, or even just any encouragement from anyone who has been in my position.....