living in a sexless marriage

[lyns2]

Hi
just wanted some opinions on this. My dh and I have been together for 15 yrs(married with kids). Our relationship has had many problems for a number of years stemming from different things(major illness,bereavement and infidelity-on his part,financial strain etc).Basiclly my dh obviously doesnt fancy me anymore and therefore is not interested in the sexual side of our marriage. He has never been an openly affectionate person anyway but now there is absolutely no kissing/hugging etc.I have to intiate sex(usually about once a month when I am so horny that I dont mind making myself look desperate.sorry if tmi!).
I have tried to have a serious conversation with him about this but he either laughs it off,blames it on his weight(we both put on a bit since had kids) or says it is because he works long hours(which is true).
I have suggested to him that he is depressed(due to the issues I mentioned above) but my dh take a very dim view of any sort of mental illness so denies this.
Sorry for long post but I am so frustrated(not just sexually either ;) ). Dont want to split up family as was from divorced/dysfunctional home myself but also dont want to live without a sex life(am only mid thirties).
Any advice appreciated thanks.

Find a nice young man to 'initiate' and after awhile release him back into the wild and find another.

In my dreams!:)

My sister was a SAHM and felt DH didn't appreciate her. After both her DDs had started school she got a part-time job waiting table at an hotel where the local football and rugby teams regularly met.

Although she never actually did anything (she says!!) she really enjoyed all the banter and reckoned she would have been spoilt for choice if she'd wanted to!.

yes but think have lost the knack of even flirting! used to be an expert at it too!

You can't go on like this for ever. Well, you could try, but in the end it would implode, with an affair by one or other of you, surely.

Are you sure he is not having an affair now? He's done it before. Maybe he's determined to keep family life going, likes the idea and togetherness of it, but fancies someone else?

Not wanting to talk about it, and laughing it off waves a red flag to me too.

Did you have any counseling after the previous affair? Did you talk about why it happened, and make changes to your relationship to strengthen it? Do you now relate to each other with honesty?

I wonder if the underlying issues from before are still there?