help please

[peanutmarmite]

namechange here, sorry.

First fight with DP. Thinking for first time after a few years together that maybe it's all been a lie. I had a bit of a fondness for cocaine when I was very young and very silly; since then have not touched a thing but tonight he left me in a big city claiming 'i could make my own way home' because I know the city well and when I protested that a few friends (who he knew I was going to another bar with) were getting very into the bad stuff so I was definitely going home with him he said that basically 'I should make my own mind up and he won't be my prison guard'.

Am I totally wrong for thinking he is being insensitive and horrible?

I am being thick ...... You were out in a city with friends and going to another bar with them. They do coke. You don't. But cos' they were doing coke you wanted to leave instead of going to this other bar.

Is that right so far?

I presume DP was with you and he said the bit about not being your prison guard?

Does he protect you from your tempation to use drugs?

Did he want to stay out for another drink and was fed up cos' he had to 'police' you?

If you get tempted or hate hanging around drug users then don't drink with these friends. That's your decision not DP's.

Hope your hangover isn't too horrid.

Why not just go home on your own in a taxi if you knew the city well? (I'm assuming it was a hotel and you don't live there and you weren't driving, but I may be wrong.) Why not ditch the friends? Why are you still hanging out with friends who are not as sober as you have become (well done btw).

I think your DP has a point about not being your minder. You had other options besides going to the bar with the friends. You could have stayed with your DP at his bar or gone home. Would you willingly leave your friends and monitor your DP for the evening if the boot was on the other foot?

Or am I missing something here -- did your DP not want you staying with him at his bar or asking him to go with you to yours? Either way, I don't know why you felt you had to stay with the friends instead of going home.

I don't like this man!

What's he doing saying that you can find your own way home when you said you wanted to go home with him? Does he care for you or not?

You aren't being clear.

Did you tell him you wanted to go home, with him, there and then, and he abandoned you?

Or are you saying you wanted to go on somewhere else? Or that you wanted him to stay out later too, so you could return with him when you'd had more drinks at the other bar?

I don't blame him for saying he won't police you. You're an adult - you need to stand on your own two feet. If you had a filthy coke habit in the past, and were showing signs of wanting to hang out later with dodgy friends, and he wanted to go home, then that's his prerogative, sounds like he's got his head screwed on. You could have got a taxi later.