What shall i do? Cheating???

[soverign21]

My XP and i split 5 weeks ago

I have just seen his itemised mobile phone bill as it's in my name and he has text the same number 130+ times in the last 4 weeks and there are numerous phone calls to this number too which started BEFORE the split

He said if he started seeing anyone he'd tell me but he hasnt said anything

What shall i do????

You have already split, it sounds you have had a lucky escape. There is not much you can/should do.

Sorry you are going through this. I wouldn't mention it at all. Don't give him the sanctification of knowing you are still upset by his actions.

Keep hold of the invoice but cancel his phone now. If he wants a phone, he has to pay for it.

You sound as though you've had a narrow escape - whatever you do now, don't take him back.

i'm wondering more as to shall i ask him about it or call the number

He was my DP for 11yrs and we have 4DC

i know i cant just leave it because it will eat away at me but i also dont want to cause a row and then be wrong

Dont suppose anyone knows how i can get a copy of message thats been sent and recieved do you??

I think some mobile providers allows you computer access to mobile messages, but I don't know how you'd go about that.

To be honest, it does sound as though he's seeing someone and (from experience) seeing the messages can really mess with your head. You might be better off not seeing them.

I would perhaps send a photocopy of the bill to him, with a note attached saying "This came in the post this morning. I thought I could trust you, but obviously I was wrong." The ball's in his court then.

Why don't you call them from witheld number and find out? If this was going on when you were together you have a right to know.

The thing is, you aren't together any more, so he has little to gain by lying if you ask him directly.

Honesty from him at this point might give you some clarity/closure regarding the end of your relationship and there's no good reason why you aren't entitled to this.

Is it worth discussing it with him from that perspective? Also, trust is important if you are going to build a healthy co-parenting relationship, IMO.

OFGS, cancel the phone, he's been gone 5 weeks, is clearly either already involved, or planning to be so in a very short while.

Why are you financing his new sex life?

Seriously girl, toughen up, the arse walked out on his wife and 4DC, he has no right to any form of respect.

Don't bugger about with calling the number, tbh it's now no longer any of your business. Keep the phone bill as proof if you like, it may be an option when you want a divorce.

Otherwise, you are well shot of him.

I'm entirely sympathetic btw, i'm angry at him for doing this, didn't want my post to come over tough in your direction, not at all!

There is nothing you can do. He may have cheated, he may not, does it change anything?

Well i asked him outright, it doesnt make a difference to our situation but he claims she's "just a friend" and nothings happening

So i've cancelled the phone and not bothered to tell him :o

He said the words i hate to hear...trust me i would tell you if i start seeing someone

My philosophy has always been "never trust a man who says trust me!!"

Thanks everyone :D

~Good for you soverign! keep strong!