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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DV Programme & Support Links

6 replies

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 20/08/2010 01:06

Really interesting programme on today about how DV complaints are treated by the police, and how when such complaints aren't dealt with properly by the authorities violence often escalates, even to the point of murder. All grim stuff but interesting too - experts saying that some of the biggest warning signs are isolation and emotional abuse of the partner, all things that we see on here so often.

Anyway the programme's website also has a wealth of links to DV support services, and I wanted to link to those really.

OP posts:
ElephantsAndMiasmas · 20/08/2010 01:09

Will copy details of resources, although cannot replicate hyperlinks to websites:

Related Links

* Refuge (www.refuge.org.uk)
* Four Ways To Speak Out (www.fourwaystospeakout.com)
* Network For Surviving Stalking (www.nss.org.uk)
* Protection Against Stalking (www.protectionagainststalking.org)
* Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse (www.aafda.org.uk)
* Independent Police Complaints Commission (www.ipcc.gov.uk)
* Association of Chief Police Officers (www.acpo.police.uk)

National Domestic Violence Helpline

The Freephone 24 hour National Domestic Violence Helpline, run in partnership between Women's Aid and Refuge, is a national service for women experiencing domestic violence, their family, friends, colleagues and others calling on their behalf. Contact the helpline in confidence on 0808 2000 247.

Support after Murder and Manslaughter (SAMM)

SAMM offers understanding and support to families and friends who have been bereaved as a result of murder or manslaughter, through the mutual support of others who have suffered a similar tragedy. Confidential helpline: 0845 8723440.

Victim Support

Victim Support is the independent national charity for people affected by crime. Highly-trained staff and volunteers give free and confidential information, emotional support and practical help to victims, witnesses, their family, friends and other people affected. Victims don't have to report a crime to the police to get help, and can ask for support at any time, regardless of when the crime happened. Victim Supportline: 0845 30 30 900.

The Respect Phoneline

The Respect Phoneline provides information and advice to people who are abusive to their partners and want help to stop. Respect Phoneline: 0845 122 8609.

Rights of Women

Rights of Women is a voluntary organisation which provides legal advice and information for women in England and Wales. They have two specialist legal advice lines providing free and confidential legal advice for women (by women) on issues such as domestic and sexual violence. Contact 020 7251 6577 for advice on family law, relationship breakdown and domestic violence or contact 020 7251 8887 for advice on sexual violence, immigration and asylum.

End Violence Against Women (EVAW)

End Violence Against Women is a coalition representing 7 million individuals and organisations across the UK who believe they can and must create a world free from the threat and reality of violence against women and girls.

Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline

If you?re based in Scotland and you need to talk to someone in confidence, call the 24 hour Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline. The Freephone number does not appear on itemised phone bills and they can put you in touch with local services like Women's Aid, or your housing department. Helpline volunteers are all women who have received specialist training. Helpline: 0800 027 1234.

The Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline

Managed by Welsh Women?s Aid, the Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline is a confidential, 24 hour freephone support and information service for anyone experiencing domestic abuse or wanting more information on available support services. Helpline: 0808 80 10 800.

The Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline
Women?s Aid, Northern Ireland

Women?s Aid provides a wide range of services to women and children affected by domestic violence throughout Northern Ireland. These include offering a safe place to stay in refuges or outreach for those wishing to receive support in their own homes and communities. They also manage the confidential 24 hour Domestic Violence Helpline which is open to anyone affected by domestic violence and in need of help and support. Helpline: 0800 917 1414.

The Men's Advice Line

The Men's Advice Line offers freephone advice for men experiencing domestic violence, including men in heterosexual or same-sex relationships. Advice Line: 0808 801 0327.

ManKind Initiative

ManKind Initiative is a national charity that provides confidential help and support for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence. Helpline: 01823 334244.

OP posts:
IfGraceAsks · 20/08/2010 03:08

Interesting, Elephants, thank you.

I decided to see if I could do the links for you. The first one was REFUGE and I clicked through it a while. It looks useful.
For example, here's an excerpt from their Recognising Abuse page:

"Domestic violence is caused by the abuser?s desire to control his partner. Abusers use many different tactics to control his partner ? some physical, some emotional and some financial.

"This list may help you recognise whether your partner is controlling you:"

* Are you afraid of your partner?
* Do you feel isolated? Does he cut you off from family and friends?
* Is he jealous and possessive?
* Does he humiliate or insult you?
* Does he verbally abuse you?
* Does he say you are useless and couldn?t cope without him?
* Has he threatened to hurt you or people close to you?
* Does he constantly criticise you?
* Does he have sudden changes of mood which dominate the household?
* Is he charming one minute, abusive the next? Like Dr Jekyll / Mr Hyde?
* Does he control your money?
* Do you feel dominated and controlled?
* Do you change your behaviour to avoid triggering an attack?
* Are you unsure of your own judgement?
* Does he damage your possessions?
* Does he smash up the furniture?
* Does he threaten to kill the pets?
* Does he threaten to kidnap or get custody of the children?
* Does he drive fast because he knows it scares you?
* Does he lock you out of the house during an argument?
* Does he tell you what to wear or how to do your hair?

Further links:
Four Ways To Speak Out
Network For Surviving Stalking
Protection Against Stalking
Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse (please try not to get this far!)
Independent Police Complaints Commission (please do use them!)
Association of Chief Police Officers (petition them!)

And see helpline numbers in the OP, above.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 20/08/2010 10:11

Thanks Grace - I had someone who did 6 of those in the first date once...

Hope people who need it find this.

OP posts:
ElephantsAndMiasmas · 20/08/2010 16:19

Posted this in the feminism section here and tabouleh has provided some more links on there.

She has posted a checklist that victims of DV can take to the police pdf link, the police can then use it to assess your risk - it said in the programme that (I think) all forces have signed up to it.

OP posts:
TiraMissYou · 20/08/2010 20:16

Hello
I'm new to MN, but thought I'd respond saying your info really is helping. I have been reading quite a bit on the womens rights section and today, at work, I was able to help a colleague who is worried about the treatment his daughter and grandchildren are experiencing in their home (the police heven't been useful in his opinion). I was able to help him see it as DV and direct him to Womens Aid on their behalf. Tommorrow I will give him all these resouces.
Thank you..

tabouleh · 20/08/2010 22:14

Tira - well done for helping your colleague access info! It's lovely to have the feedback that these sorts of threads are useful.

Hope to see you over on Feminism/Women's rights section!

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