"Beat the Bitch"

[Janos]

Title of a book I saw in a charity shop. Anyway, it was lumped together with a load of chick-lit type books and thinking it was a work of fiction I picked it up to have a look.

Actually, it is a guide on how to win back your husband from his mistress - hence the title.

Written by a woman who has been there on both sides (tag line).

Full of usual the general nonsense designed to pander to women's insecurities - guidelines on how to behave, what men want you do/be like etc there was a section entitled 'Things yOu don't want to hear' . Anyhoo, printed in here was this gem of a quote (paraphrasing slightly)

"If you give a man companionship, sex, understanding and kindness he will not cheat "

I mean FFS!! What sort of thing is this to say?

Have we time warped back to the 50s, where women are responsible for men's behaviour and if a man cheats it must be his wifes fault?

Ok, I know its only a book, don't take it so seriously etc but this kind of shite is IMO corrosive, damaging and spiteful. And its written by a woman, not some philandering tosser trying to justify the fact that he can't kept his pants on.

GRRR.

Does it say make up should be freshly applied before your husband comes home too?

you could write that about a woman straying though couldn't you?

"If you give a woman companionship, sex, understanding and kindness she will not cheat"

Surely it's what every person would like from a relationship.

'course if you marry a complete knobber....

Can I add in to this thread the book "babyproofing your marriage"
learn to give blow jobs as it's easy and quick and means your DH won't be hassling you for actual sex"

there must be people buying these though, mustn't there?

GRRR!

One for burning, IMO.

If I became aware my DP was cheating, pandering to his desires would not happen!

Why would any sane woman wish to place a gutter-dwelling-penis-driven-invertebrate on a pedestal, FFS?!

that's a very good point sorky
can you imagine a book written for men about how to stop your wife straying
It just wouldn't happen

Well, besides the fact that I think any woman would be better served seeking financial advice and maybe counselling, rather than buy this book (or others of it's ilk)

For me it raises 2 questions;

1. I'd have to ask the honest question of why someone I married has a mistress, because like it or not something has to be 'wrong'.

I'm not suggesting it's the womans fault at all btw, both people are involved for a relationship to fail.

but more importantly,

1. Why the fuck would you want to take the cheating c*nt back? Let him live with her for a while, she'll soon turf him out make no mistake!

Well yes someone did buy it at some point sorky..but lets just say it was in 'as new' condition, so infer from that what you will!

Lynette - probably, but I didn't read all of it (or in fact very much of it all actually).

StealthPolarBear - good point, just wouldn't happen. Can you imagine a book instructing men to buy your wife flowers, chocs and perfume every day otherwise she will leave you for some other bloke?

'Wrong' as in he has an unrealistic sense of entitlement?

How can that be considered the other partners failing?!

'wrong' as in something isn't right within the relationship.

It takes 2 people to make it work, it takes the same for it to not work.

I never mentioned 'failing', those are you words and your inferences.

I am also failing to imagine a book for men on how to win back their cheating wives, that prescribes plenty of pancake breakfasts and cunnilingus.

Written by a woman too. Brings to mind the thread in feminism about women colluding in their own oppression.

Also brings to mind an exerpt from a 50s text book telling women they're not allowed to complain when husband comes home late/goes out and gets pissed, keep the children from bothering daddy, he's had a hard day and can't be arsed, don't dare tell him about YOUR day he won't be remotely interested blah blah blah...

Sorky, "both people are involved for a relationship to fail." Your words, implication clear.

I disagree; of course the behaviour of one can cause a relationship to not work!

Many relationships fail due to infidelity, it isn't the case that infidelity is always caused by a failing relationship.

Also, there may be a "problem", but that problem can be caused by one partner's unreasonable expectations. If for e.g. a man expects his wife to have their 3 DC tucked up in bed, clean and asleep by the time he gets home from work, and she doesn't, then from his point of view he has "problems" at home. And then maybe he is justified for having his affair, in his own eyes. But the answer in this case is not for her to work harder and put the kids to bed too early, but for him to shape up and be a parent.

QoD are you thinking of the Rules?

No of course it doesn't always hold true, but I find it hard to believe that problems in a relationship aren't behind the majority of cases of both male/female infidelity.

One person doesn't feel heard or appreciated, leading too busy lives to deal with concerns, financial worries etc.

stealth erm I really can't recall I just vaguely remember reading it on the internet and being very at it. I think I actually had steam coming out of my ears!

Sorky, I'd like to believe you are right.

I firmly believe infidelity isn't the answer to anything but believing that it is usually a response to serious relationship issues, rather than just a selfish and absolute disregard of ones partner and relationship, would be a healthier world view for me to maintain.

Ta!

Perhaps this is preferable

Amusing.

Amusing or not. Lots of people (all genders) read and believe this stuff.

Catchy title btw.