Should i be upset with B

[lovingmy2]

Yesterday was the angel day of my little boy who died 2 years ago at 24 weeks. My DH and I marked the day as we did last year with a balloon and flowers to his grave etc. Last year we received lots of cards and texts from people saying we were in their thoughts etc.

I didn't expect the same from friends this year as remembering is hard. However i got a few cards again and a couple of friends text me wishing me a gentle day.

I'm upset because...my sister, mum, mother in law and sister in law all acknowledged my son in someway with either by a text, card or visiting his resting place. My brother was the only one who let the day pass by. He knew it was yesterday because he pushed a card through my door for my mother and she'd told him what the card was for.

Need to ge a perspective from people who haven't lost babies or children to know am i being too sensitive or should i feel a little hurt that i didn't get a text to see if i was ok.

Thanks in advance.

Sorry to hear about your loss, it is obviously a very difficult time for you at the moment so my heart goes out to you.
I cannot begin to put myself in your place but maybe your brother felt that he didn't want to upset you, sometimes people just dont know what to say or do in these circumstances.
I dont think you are being too sensitive, you are still grieving for your precious child,and i imagine everything feels very raw at this time.
Maybe he was unsure if marking the day would be something you would be comfortable with, i really dont know but just a thought.
How about talking to your mum and seeing if she will speak to him something along the lines of "Did you speak to lovingmy2 yesterday?It would mean a lot to her if you did as it is a very significant day for her"

How do you feel today? x

Maybe he thought she had put his name in it?

I'm sorry you lost your little one x

just feel low...you find yourself going over the whole thing in your head. Friends i made at the time of losing my little boy (who also lost babies) have been amazing. They truely understand and the only ones i can really talk about my precious little boy with.

Its hard i suppose because when you lose a parent or grandparent after that first anniversary it doesn't really get acknowledged with cards and texts etc (well we as a family don't anyway) but my little boy was a baby...who never got the chance and was s wanted and so loved. I never wanted him forgetting but knew inevitably people forget. For me i can never forget. I have 2 children but sghould have 3. I went on to have a DD 9 months ago and i adore her, absolutely am in love with her but its bitter sweet because she shouldn't be here as we only ever wanted 2 children. I can't explain.

My mum isn't the best tbh...she would never confront or ask the question to her DS as he can do no wrong and she never wants to get involved.

I don't know to me it's the most signicant day of the year because it's the only day i can truely mark my sons arrival and departure from this world but i know deep down others don't share this view and some may even think its morbid and i should 'get over it' etc.

flight - this is definately not the case. He is married and has a family of his own. She hasn't added his name on cards and things for 10 years.

Oh I'm sorry

I can understand the wanting to remember and to talk about him with others.

Sometimes it feels like you have to hold it back, doesn't it, not mention the person you lost because people won't want to hear it etc.

I think they are sometimes scared to open the wound so they keep quiet too.

i agree and i DO understand this feeling and i've been there myself not saying or doing anything as it's easier and less uncomfortable i just guess i thought he'd at least text me to see how i'd been. I know geerally men are rubbish at this type of thing so i shouldn't be too upset by it.

Oh well, on a lighter note. The day passed ok, DS drew him a lovely picture with his baby angel brother sat on a cloud, a balloon floating upto him and a car and caravan with us all in it going on a holiday. made me cry but was very sweet.

In the evening when the children had gone to bed we ordered a curry and toasted our son with a bottle of wine.

Things are clearly very hard for you, but i think you need to take care of you IYSWIM.
You are a mother of three, your beautiful baby boy passing away will never change that.He was and is your son, you know how much you wanted him, that love will never go away.
As for your daughter, what a lucky girl to have her mother saying how much she adores her and is in love with her,and you may have only ever wanted 2 children but she is here and here for a reason!
Its good that you have people aroud that you can talk to, probably give you better advice than me, like i said i cant imagine your pain, but i certainly dont think you should 'get over it' how could you?why should you? but how you will deal with it will change over time.
Not sure what else to suggest WRT your brother,but try not to let that affect you too much, this is your time to remember your son x

I can see why you are upset, and of course you want to remember & mark the day, but as you say, often after a year people don´t do this anymore.

It doesn´t mean that your brother didn´t remember & think about you in his way though.

didnt see your last post!
Sounds like you marked the day well,glad you toasted your son x