It is my our 3rd time going to counselling, (with the same lady). I went on my own today. My husband is going to go to her on his own next week, before we then go for joint sessions.
I explained to the counsellor that I felt that we had never really got the the root of out problems in other sessions and that I had finished them before I felt we were ready because I sensed that my dh was becoming impatient with having to trek 30 mins drive every week to these sessions.
I said that I really believe that my dh resents me, his life, his responsibilities, but mostly ME for making him rein in his drinking a few years ago, as it was getting out of control. He never drank at home or during the day, but would go out to meetings in the golf club, (in which he was heavily involved as a council memeber) then have a few drinks there after meeting and then, often as not, would end up stopping off for more at our local and swinging home full as a lord.
There were times when he couldnt get in the front door he was so drunk, times he got in the door, but couldnt make it up the stairs, times when he got upstairs but then pissed in our wardrobe or in bed, or in kitchen sink..once, at a friends wedding, he took a shit in the bath of the bathroom of our hotel bedroom.
This sort of thing went on, sporadically from time to time, until 3 years ago, it all came to a head, I got my FIL involved, it was all out in the open, and he was shamed into sorting out his behaviour.
And he did curb it to a large extent. I begged him at the time to jsut give up drink as I felt it had damaged us enough. He said that no, he knew that he had a weakness, but that he felt that he could change his behaviour, control his drinking and he wanted to prove that to me.
In the last 3 years, the binges have reduced in number and severity, maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and not quite as bad, though still unpleasant to witness. The real problem though is that he still displays worrying traits. He drinks quicker than everyone else, always on for one more, gets annoyed it I suggest to him he has had enough (as I did after he had 8 pints and a whiskey and wanted another drink, at 1am and we have 5 little ones to get up for in the morning).
We are going through a terrible patch this last 18months or so, He says I am trying to control him, that I am no fun anymore, that I am always clock watching and counting his drinks when we are out. This is not strictly true. It is when he starts to get in to binge territory that I start to worry and wish that he knew when he had had enough.
He carries this simmering resentment in him, claiming that I do not "trust" him to drink sensibly. But how can I when he has this inherent, probably genetic weakness and is in denial about his own level of self control..
The counsellor thinks that this issue is at the root of our problems and that in fact, my husband is an addict who is controlling himself with great effort, and taking out all his frustration on me, hence why he is angry at me so much. She says that he displays all the arrogance and selfishness coupled with, paradoxically, the low self esteem of an addict, and she has advised me to seek out the help of Al Anon..She also feels that my anxiety and efforts to make him curb his behaviour are actually enabling and adding to the overall problem 
Can anyone advise me who has been in the same boat and can Al Anon help me deal with this?